Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer
The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys
I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife
The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I
So I watched TV and my wife, she just cried
When out in the yard the dog started barkin'
I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin
He yelled, Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause
I said, Clause, I don't know nobody named Clause
And you ain't takin me in without probable cause
Then the Sheriff he said, The man was shot at last night
I said, That might've been me, just what's he look like?
The Sheriff replied, Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly
That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly
He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry
I said, That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri
It's no time for jokes Roy, the Sheriff he said
The man I'm describing is dressed all in red
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean
Tell me what you done, and tell me what you seen
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell
It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail
I said, Sheriff it happened last night about ten
I thought that my wife had been drinking again
When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost
I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head
And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter
A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter
Well, my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun
When outta Red's chimney this feller did run
And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'
So I yelled, Drop it fat boy, hands in the air
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care
So I popped off a warning shot over his head
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled
And as he flew off I heard him extort
that's assault with intent Roy, I'll see you in court. I'll tell you what sheriff if you put a subnet
On me I won't show up ill hold up in the cellar
And you'll never rout me outta there
So why don't you just
Turn car off come
In well watch wrestling eat some
Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy
She's been over here about every other night
Twas The Night After Christmas
Jeff Foxworthy
Purchase "Twas The Night After Christmas"
Purchase Entire Album
Email Video to Friends Play Youtube "Twas The Night After Christmas" Video
Play Spotify "Twas The Night After Christmas" Song
View Wikipedia "Twas The Night After Christmas"
Entry
Receive Emails for Future Jeff Foxworthy Lyrics
Link to "Twas The Night After Christmas"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
See Recommended Lyrics For You
Share:
Copied!
Loading...
Lyrics by Jeff Foxworthy
Related Songs
'Twas the Night Before Christmas ...
Do You Believe In Him? - The Goo Goo Dolls
Do You Believe in Him? - Goo Goo Dolls
I Saw Three Ships - Chicago
The Ghosts Of Christmas Eve...
Christmas Chopsticks - Bobby Vinton
Twas the Night Before Christmas - Perry Como
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS...
Twas The Night Before Christmas - Don Williams
'Twas The Night Before Christmas...
Twas The Night Before Christmas - Aretha Franklin
'Twas the Night Before Christmas - Perry Como
.'Twas The Night Before Christmas...
'twas The Night Before Christmas...
I Saw Three Ships - Dan Fogelberg
T'was Love - Patti LaBelle
T'was Love - Patti LaBelle
Silent Night [*] - The Temptations
The White Snows of Winter - The Kingston Trio
White Snows of Winter - The Kingston Trio
The White Snows Of Winter - Kingston Trio
The Night I Stole Old Sammy Morgan's Gin...
The White Snows Of Winter - REO Speedwagon
'twas The Night Before Christmas...
'Twas The Night Before Christmas...
Santa Clause is Thumbing to town - Relient K
Santa Claus Is Thumbing To Town - Relient K
Santa Claus Is Thimbing To Town - Relient K
Beautiful Christmas - Religious Music
Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming - Christmas Carols
Christmas Without You - X
Is This Christmas? - The Wombats
Merry Merry Christmas Baby - Dodie Stevens
Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track] - Cledus T. Judd
Christ-mas - Christmas Song
The Night Before Christmas - Canadian Brass
On a Christmas Night - Chris De Burgh
The Christmas Song - Korn
The Night Before Christmas (In Texas, That Is)...
The Night Before Christmas Song - Gene Autry
The Night Before Christmas Song - Rosemary Clooney
Night Before Christmas Song - Gene Autry
Bad Santa - Jasper Sawyer
Christ-Mas - Cledus T. Judd
Boxing Mitt - Blink 182
'Round And 'Round The Christmas Tree - Bing Crosby
'Round And 'Round The Christmas Tree...
THE LIGHT OF CHRISTMAS MORN LYRICS - Celtic Woman
Round & Round the Christmas Tree - Bing Crosby
Round and Round the Christmas Tree - Bing Crosby
Boxing Day - Blink-182
Boxing Day - Blink 182
In A Little Spanish Town ('Twas On A Night Like Th...
In A Little Spanish Town ('Twas On A Night Li...
Christmas Without You - Xscape
Holiday Made for Two - Dave Barnes
In a Little Spanish Town - Dave Brubeck
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Tommy Dorsey
In a Little Spanish Town - Bill Coleman
In a Little Spanish Town [#] - Erroll Garner
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Bill Haley & His Comets
In a Little Spanish Town - Anson Weeks
In a Little Spanish Town - Lester Young
In a Little Spanish Town - Jimmy Dorsey
In a Little Spanish Town - Victor Feldman
In a Little Spanish Town - Chet Atkins
In a Little Spanish Town [#] - Pérez Prado
In a Little Spanish Town - Virginia O'Brien
In a Little Spanish Town - Pérez Prado
In a Little Spanish Town - Oscar Peterson
In a Little Spanish Town - Randy Weston
In a Little Spanish Town - Chick Webb
In a Little Spanish Town - Fred Hartley
In a Little Spanish Town [B]...
Shock Resistant (In a Little Spanish Town)...
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Stan Kenton
In a Little Spanish Town - The Dorsey Brothers
In a Little Spanish Town - Jo Jones
In a Little Spanish Town - Harry Farmer
In a Little Spanish Town - Benny Carter
In a Little Spanish Town - Bunny Berigan
In a Little Spanish Town - Ray Anthony
In a Little Spanish Town - The Fireballs
In a Little Spanish Town - Paul Whiteman
In a Little Spanish Town [No. 2] - Stan Kenton
In a Little Spanish Town [No. 1] - Stan Kenton
In a Little Spanish Town - Paul Whiteman Orchestra
In a Little Spanish Town - Will Bradley
In a Little Spanish Town - Judy Roberts
In a Little Spanish Town - Tab Smith
In a Little Spanish Town - Albert Ammons
In a Little Spanish Town - Anita O'Day
In a Little Spanish Town - Glenn Miller
In a Little Spanish Town - Wayne Bartlett
In a Little Spanish Town - Country All Stars
In a Little Spanish Town - Rosemary Clooney
In a Little Spanish Town - Yusef Lateef
In a Little Spanish Town - Gene Autry
In a Little Spanish Town - Keith Ingham
In a Little Spanish Town - Nick Lucas
ln a Little Spanish Town - Ray Charles
In a Little Spanish Town - George Wein
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Abbe Lane
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Eddie Zip
In a Little Spanish Town - Doc Severinsen
In a Little Spanish Town - Oscar Peterson Trio
In a Little Spanish Town [Alternate Take]...
In a Little Spanish Town - Bobby Hackett
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - The Platters
In a Little Spanish Town - Louis Prima
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Charlie Shavers
In a Little Spanish Town [From Thousands Cheer]...
In a Little Spanish Town - The Pied Pipers
In a Little Spanish Town/Lady of Spain/Y Viva Espa...
En un Pueblecito Español (In a Little Spanish T...
In a Little Spanish Town - John Lewis
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - The Orphan Newsboys
In a Little Spanish Town - Woody Herman
In a Little Spanish Town - Bob Wilber
In a Little Spanish Town [Take 2] - Bunny Berigan
In a Little Spanish Town [Take 1] - Bunny Berigan
In a Little Spanish Town - Helen O'Connell
In a Little Spanish Town...
In a Little Spanish Town - Herb Alpert
In a Little Spanish Town...
Days Like This - The Rhythm Kings
One More Sleep Til Christmas - The Muppets
In a Little Spanish Town [*] - Bing Crosby
In a Little Spanish Town - Bing Crosby
Mrs. Santa Claus - Oak Ridge Boys
Here Comes Santa Claus - Oak Ridge Boys
Mrs. Santa Claus - The Oak Ridge Boys
Mistletoe & Wine - Cliff Richard
Boogie Baby Christmas - Captain & Tennille
Boogie Baby Christmas - Captain & Tennille
Carol Of The Bells/The Bells Of Christmas...
Carol of the Bells/Jingle Bells - Barry Manilow
Carol Of The Bells \/ Jingle Bells - Barry Manilow
Carol Of The Bells\/The Bells Of Christmas...
Frosty The Snowman...
Christmas Night - K. Michelle
The Night Before Christmas - The Chipmunks
The Night Before Christmas - Eminem
Night Before Christmas - The Chipmunks
Even Santa Fell in Love - Lea Salonga
Be-Bop Santa Claus - Babs Gonzales
Nightmare Before Christmas - Ray Stevens
Such A Night - Aaron Neville
One More Sleep 'til Christmas - Sesame Street
Hey Guys! It's Christmas Time! - Sufjan Stevens
Christmas Night In Harlem - Louis Armstrong
Italian Christmas - Christmas Carols
Mistletoe And Wine - Cliff Richard
Christmas Really Sucks - Jay Brannan
The Night Before Christmas...
The Night Before Christmas - Twins
Holy Ground - Wolfe Tones
Gifts They Gave - Johnny Cash
The Gifts They Gave - Johnny Cash
Christmas Night in Harlem - Jack Teagarden
Christmas Night in Harlem - Johnny Mercer
Sweat & Mistletoe - A Fallen Mind
Twas The Night Before Xmas - Snoop Dogg
'Twas The Dawn Of A Beautiful Day...
Our First Christmas Together - Celtic Thunder
Twas The Dawn Of A Beautiful Day - Eddy Arnold
Such A Night - Aaron Neville
One Last Christmas (Single) - Matthew West
One Last Christmas - Matthew West
Leavin' Heaven - Matthew West
The Ghosts Of Christmas Eve...
Christmas Day - Shadow Gallery
And You For Me - The Gamits
Christmas To Remember - Gareth Gates
Mistletoe - Colbie Caillat
My Dear Country - Norah Jones
Closing - Danny Elfman
The Closing Song - Nightmare Before Christmas
I Threw A Kiss Into The Ocean (1942)...
Day After Christmas - Matthew West
Silver Bells - Patti Page
Silver Bells - Conway Twitty
Silver Bells - Andy Williams
Silver Bells [From the Lemon Drop Kid]...
Even Santa Fel In Love - Lea Salonga
XMas Song - Korn
Silver Bells - Bing Crosby
Silver Bells [Version 2] - Bing Crosby
Silver Bells [Live] - Bing Crosby
