I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean BerrellnI've know her since God only knows and I won't tellnI caught her the first time she stumbled and fellnAnd surely she knows me just as wellnnI can tell you her birthday and her daddy?s middle namenThe uncles on her mama?s side and the once they don't claimnWhat she's got for Christmas since 1952nAnd that's only the beginning of the things I could tell younn'Cause I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean BerrellnI've known her since God only knows and I won't tellnI caught her the first time she stumbled and fellnAnd surely she knows me just as wellnnI can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to parknAnd why to this very day she's scared of the darknHow she got her nickname and that scar behind her kneenIf there's anything you need to know about Shirley just ask mennI know where she's ticklish and her every little quirknThe funnies she don't read and her number at worknI know what she stands for and what she won't allownThe only thing that I don't know is where she is right nownnBut I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean BerrellnI've know her since God only knows and I won't tellnI caught her the first time she stumbled and fellnAnd surely she knows me just as wellnnOh, surely she knows me just as well