The Man Who Couldn't Cry
Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
But at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, but the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

Well his novel was refused and his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop

He was sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

Well in jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
And not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists too
Theologians were last and practically least

They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and he made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain

Well once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died

Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground, the prison burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought


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Lyrics by Loudon Wainwright III

  1994   4 X 10   A.M. World   Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder   Bein’ A Dad   Between   Bill Mason’s Bride   Breakfast In Bed   Career Moves   Carrickfergus   Christmas Morning   Cobwebs   Come A Long Way   Conspiracies   Date Line   Dead Skunk   Doctor   Double Lifetime   Dreaming   East Indian Princess   Father / Daughter Dialogue   Five Years Old   Graveyard   Grown Man   Guru   Hank And Fred   Hard Day On The Planet   High Wide & Handsome   High Wide & Handsome   Homeless   Hospital Lady   I Am the Way (New York Town)   I Remember Sex   I Wish I Was A Lesbian   I'd Rather Be Lonely   I'm Alright   I'd Rather Be Lonely   I'm Alright   In C [Explicit]   Inaugural Blues   Kick In The Head   Last Man On Earth   Living Alone   Lullaby   Lullaby   Men   Missing You   Motel Blues   Mr. Ambivalent   Mr. Guilty   Muse Blues   My Meds [Explicit]   New Paint   Nocturnal Stumblebutt   Not John   Number One   Ode To A Pittsburgh   OGM (Out Going Message)   Older Than My Old Man Now   One Man Guy   Our Own War   Over the Hill   Passion Play   Plane Too   Pretty Good Day   Pretty Little Martha   Rowena   Samson & The Warden   Samson & The Warden   Say That You Love Me   School Days   So Damn Happy   So Many Songs   So Much To Do   Sometimes I Forget   Strange Weirdos   Suddenly It's Christmas   Suddenly It's Christmas   Surviving Twin   Sweet Sunny South   Swimming Song   Synchronicity   T.S.M.N.W.A.   Talking New Bob Dylan   Thanksgiving   The [Untitled]   The Capitalism Blues   The Days That We Die   The Drinking Song   The Grammy Song   The Here & the Now   The Man Who Couldn't Cry   The Picture   Therapy   Tip That Waitress   Tonya’s Twirls   Turkish Revelry   Unhappy Anniversary   Unrequited To The Nth Degree   Uptown   Valley Morning   Westchester County   What Gives   When I'm At Your House   When I'm At Your House   White Winos   X Or Y   Y2K   You Can't Fail Me Now   You Never Phone   Your Mother & I   Your Mother & I

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