If I could be anythingnI'd be a machine gunn'Cuz everytime I see younI'm sorry I don't own onenIf I could be anythingnYou know I'd be a land minenThe next time you step on menWill really be the last timenIf I could be anythingnI'd be an airborne rangernI'd jump into your shipnWhen you treat me like a strangernIf I could be anythingnI'd be a German U-boatnSink you like a stonen'Cuz the new guynMakes your soul floatnHold my handnLike a knife in my backnMy nose is bleedingnAnd my eyes are both blacknGot lots of friendsnI don't need anymorenI'm Steve McQueennAnd you're Gestapo torturenIf I could be anythingnI'd be a machine gunn'Cuz everytime I see younI'm sorry I don';t own onenBANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! I feel better now