Five o'clock in the morning I hear the phone ringing
Yo what up Dunn?
What up son? Sorry were you sleeping?
Nah, just finished reading this ill ass novel
Not the one about the girl who left her family up in Kabul?
That's the one, that shit was sad had me crying on the pages
Yo I read that mother fucker had me sad as fuck for ages
Yo! We should start a book club!
Yo son I hear you talking, How about Sunday afternoons right after speed walking?
That's a date, but I know that ain't the reason for your calling
No doubt, you're so observant, must of noticed I was stalling
Yo, best friends gotta tell each other their secrets
I just came from Pam's work and she dipped my heart in shit
Yo what, that's Baskin Robbins
Yo yo you know the spot where you order frozen treats and they rip your heart apart
Yo I got what you need at the house, you cool to drive?
I'm pretty broken up I might not make it there alive
Don't talk like that, now you're making me want to cry
Yo its cool son, I'm fine, I'll be over there in five
Yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Yo son, your house looks beautiful did you redecorate?
Nah kid the French lighting really opens up the place
Well it feels so spacious
It's an optical illusion
You didn't knock down a wall?
Nah son, its light diffusion
My girlfriend Pam and I were planning on doing some home remodeling
Yeah she borrowed all my copies of Better Homes and Gardening
Yo I mean ex girlfriend, I can't believe this shit is happening
Yo have this cup of tea
Man you'll never see those magazines
This tea is delicious what did you say it was?
Chamomile mother fucker!
Is it caffeinated cuz?
Nah I'm trying to cut down
Me and Pam were gonna too, thought we'd always be a couple, not the one but the two
No doubt son, even when I was in my abusive relationship
I would look to you and Pam and know that true love could exist
You for real guy, I never knew you felt like that
No doubt Dunny, I thought you were a perfect match
Yo it's ill when I'm heated
Now my heart stay cold
Yo kid, this red wine has got me feeling fucked up
Watch out Dunny, you just knocked some right out of my cup
Oh fuck, that's my bad it's all over your slacks
No doubt son I'm soaked from the front to the back
Oh shit, you're getting naked!
Of course I am, bet, we gotta get these in the wash before the stain sets
Ah fuck man, you just get wine all over my vest
Yo take your shirt off real quick before it seeps down to your chest
Yo kid we're both buck naked. Are you uncomfortable?
Nah kid, we're two grown men and we're both heterosexual
Word up son!
Hold on yo, did you just hear something?
Goddman, it's fucking Pam, she must of let herself in
What up Pam, how's it going? What an awkward situation
Yo if you didn't know better this might look incriminating
Yo what wacky circumstances to lead all of this to happen
Yo just like on fucking Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm
Yo those were both by Larry David
No doubt, Dunny that's true
Wait Pam don't go, if you leave now we're through
Yo, I'm sorry son, damn, what a tragic way to end
The Important thing now is that we're naked and we're friends
The Heist
Incredibad
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