I'm the guitar guy at the party,
i'm the guitar guy and I think i'll drink a Coke and Bacardi,
it might seem like i'm just havin' fun,
but i'm actually not,
i'm trying to sleep with your girlfriend,
listen to me as I play this song,
cause i'm gonna play it regardless,
I'm only playin' three chords,
so i can make eye contact,
with different women in the room,
i'm gonna try and sleep with your girlfriend,
but i'm gonna make it sound like we have a really special bond,
and we should keep it secret...
You know, I think your boyfriend really takes you for granted.
when was the last time he told you your eyes look like space crystals?
If you wanna come by my place later,
it'd be cool.
It's not gonna be like last time.
I totally understand why that freaked you out.
maybe if i play free fallin' then,
someone'll give me a handjob,
or maybe they'll just sit on my lap,
and the friction will cause me to have an erection,
an erection i'll make sure that you won't feel,
cause i'm classy,
and i'm gonna shift it to the left,
and i'm gonna shift it to the right,
and i'm gonna create a mental image in my head,
like guys in prison taking a group shower.
here's my story,
i'm gonna make sure that i tell it in the proper order,
i went to arts camp as a kid and i,
i played the recorder.
then i learned that recorders are for losers,
and guitars get chicks and,
now when i feel like a loser,
i take this out and sing wonderwall by oasis.
i play mostly covers,
cat stevens and beatles and a couple of others,
i do some original songs too but they're not as well received...
christ is god, christ is god
but i still want that handjob,
cause im the guitar guy,
im the guitar guy,
im the guitar guy,
im the guitar guy...
The Guitar Guy At The Party
Mike Birbiglia
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Lyrics by Mike Birbiglia
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