The Girl Who Loved Slaughter
Lardpony

I was trying to go vegetarian, but she spiked my meals with meat
And when I slept she placed real leather shoes upon my feet
I phoned up her father and said I'd like to marry your daughter
And he said are you sure? She's the girl who loves slaughter

I took her to a safari park, she smuggled in a gun
She said take a potshot at that wolf, it's a world of fun
I said I didn't want to, but she frowned and said you oughta
And that's when I got scared of the girl who loved slaughter

This story has a happy end, though I feared for my life
I managed to avoid her when she bought a carving knife
I don't know where she is now, but I hope the police caught her
And she's getting the treatment she deserves as a girl who loves slaughter

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Lyrics by Lardpony

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