Every day in lunch in high schoolnAnd all of my senior yearnI'd drink my Coca-ColanWith a touch of EverclearnI never had to study mathnScience or historynI'd have a chemical flashbacknTo jog my memorynnWell, my junior year I swore I lovednSweet Miss Sherrie AnnnOne night I put some EverclearnIn her Dr. Pepper cannI thought it'd make her easynBut she took it pretty hardnI took her home and rang her doorbellnLeft her layin' in the yardnnCHORUS:nTequila dries me outnAnd beer just makes me fatnWhiskey makes me nauseousnTell me who the hell needs thatnIf you're thinkin' about drinkin'nWell, the answer's crystal clearnIt's the invisible intoxicantnIt's called EverclearnnI remember my church picnicnIn the spring of '89nYeah, they had four fresh watermelonsnSliced right off the vinenWhen they bowed their headsnGivin' grace for the foodnHey, I pulled out my bottlenAnd I soaked them melons goodnnThey never knew what hit 'emnWhen the potion went to worknThey had grandmas doin' backflipsnGrandpas lookin' up their skirtsnThey were singin' hallelujahnAnd Willie Nelson songsnPreacher said it was the best dang picnicnThat the Baptists have ever thrownnnCHORUSnnWhen I'm drinkin' EverclearnI think I'm king of this whole worldnI'm bigger and badder than John WaynenAnd cooler than Steve EarlenUntil I wake upnAnd I'm face down in the hallnHey, I'm completely nakednFor a reason I can't recallnnWell, I'm kinda sorta thinkin'nThat maybe I met a chickn'Cause there's perfume in the airnAnd there's lipstick on my necknAnd I hope that she was prettynAnd I hope that she was kindnEnough to leave my clothes somewherenThey're easy to findnnCHORUS