The Crier
Gavin Castleton

I'm always thinking 'bout your death
wonderin' how it's gonna be

not so much how it's gonna go for you,
but what it's gonna do for me

I think about the tragedy,
huffed out in the messages I left for ex-lovers
the cryptic status updates posted to invoke the most sympathy in others and the desper---

HEY
don't look at me that way
you're due to die some day
and if you've gotta go
don't do it easily
let's make a melodrama
monetize the eulogy
I'll write a poem about it - I mean a hit song
I want the world to know
just how hard it's gonna be for me to carry on
and be whole again in the role of The Crier

I don't want to bring another dog home
that's the last thing I need
best to leave it alone

not that I would breakdown
but I'd have to shake down all the new sheets

ya I see what you mean
about publicized grieving
but I've got a big mouth to feed and
--- what ----
you don't see a profit in the legacy?
I know if you could speak
you'd say it's too soon
but it's the right time
to reach the consumer
these t-shirts ain't gonna sell themsel--

HEY
don't look at me that way
you know how I get paid

It happened slow at first
a couple bulletins
I got some comments back
I wanted more of them
they made me feel as if
my life was more important
when life was boring
I resorted to distorting it, yo
I started posting pics
I made a video
I hit refresh to check my hits every minute or so
I look for validation in that heart-shaped icon
it's a long ride hustlin' down that short road I'm on

I was stronger when I didn't have a feedback loop,
I could hear my own truth
now I long for the self-assured oblivion of youth,
when I didn't have to sweat that click-through
when the line between the marketing and artistry is blurred
the heart of your art is obscured

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