The Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song
Jeffrey Lewis

walkin' up 23rd streetni was tired and alonenit was late my housematenwould be asleep when i got homenthe sign ahead glowin' rednsaid the chelsea hotelnwhere nancy and syd viciousnand my friend dave once dwellednnthe street was black under my feetnwich continued their walkin'nthough i was vaguely interestednin the folks behind me talkin'ntwo guys maybe gaynwearin' Reber type suitsnand a girl wearin' glassesnwho looked kinda cutenher hair was short and curlynshe had a tattoo on her backnwich i could see cos her red shirtnwas sleeveless with strapsnbut i only saw this laternnot in my first glancenbut i could hear her talkin behind menand as if by chancenshe was tryin' to describena song i knew wellnthe leonard cohen songnabout the chelsea hotelnnand i smiled a smile to myselfnwhen she saidnthat was the song where he talked aboutnsomeone giving him headnon the bed was unmadenand how the song was outrageousnand that's when i gotnuncaracteristicly courageousni could left the three of them laughin'nand just gone on homenbut i turned and i faced hernand i said leonard cohen?n.....just like that....nnnshe was shocked and surprisednbut she looked very happynthat she now had a witnessnto back up her storynshe looked at menwith her spectacled eyesnand said see i told unto the two others guysnnmy tale might have ending right there and thennbut we started talkin' about leornard cohennhow his lyrics were coolnand how he sang so sincerenit must have been truenand it happened right herenusually women right of the batndon't find me that greatnbut there we were laughin', scrollin'nlike we could really releatenalthough we didn't mention the head linenit was alludednand her conversation was betterncos her friends were not includednthe guys were more into each othernat least that's how it seemed to meni heard the faint knocking of opportunitynalthough it's easy for me nownupon my looking backnto think of all the thingsni could have saidnto make me the macnjust keep the sad truth in mindnas i tell this to younthat we really only talkednfor a minute or twonand i never got her namenand she never got minenbut in this couple short minutesnwe had a pretty good timennnand on top of thatntho u may not believe itnyou know what she says to me nextnas i repeat itnthat line about gettin a blow jobnthat leonard singsnshe said it made hernwant to do naughty thingsnright about thenni should have askednif she knewnwhat the chelsea chargednif we got a room for twonbut i didn't and i knowni'm a schmuck, don't you doubt itnthe only thing i didnwas write this stupid song about itnnif i was leonard cohennor some others song writing masterni 'd know to first get the oral sexnand then write the song afternyou can practise writing songsnabout romance every daynbut if you haven't lovednthen you'll have nothing to saynwe could have given each other headnon leonard same unmade bednbut i was too shy to suggest itnand so insteadnwhen the three of them stoppednto look through a pub windowni said good nightntho i had not quite meant tonand waved as we walked thoni would not forget hernespecially when she mysteriously saidnsee you laternnnow every time i'm walkingni hope that we'd meetnand on purposeni always go up 23rd streetnwhere the sign glowin' rednsays the chelsea hotelnwhere nancy and syd viciousnand my friend dave's once dwellednlife doesn't work outnthe way it does in old songsnthat's why we sing new onesnto say what really goes onnso if i ever see her againnand we pick upnright we were endednmaybe i'll play her this songnmaybe she won't get too offendednand listen i tell u whynthere's more than this situationnthan miss the eyesnyou may think it's sadnyou may think it's patheticnbut i sing this songnand that she will never know itnbut think a minute 'bout what that meansnand you'll realise it's actually a wonderful thingnthat all around the worldnthere maybe folks singin' tunesnfor the love of others folksnthey barely knewnand it puts a smile on my facenyes, it donand let me tell younyou ought to be smillin tooncos the next time you feelin'nkinda lonesome and bluenjust think that someone somewherenmight be singin about younwho knows if i'll ever see her againnmaybe we'll see this whole timenshe could have been singing about menprobably notnbut it could be

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Lyrics by Jeffrey Lewis

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