Nadya (Tina Fey): Hit it boys
This is Russia's premiere state funded hotel
We're very proud of our eclectic clientele
Excelence in service since 1932
Don't believe what you read in the online review
It's the Big House
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the Big House
You'll never get away
It's no Hilton or no Hyatt
But you will get a riot
So please enjoy your stay
Here's the dining room the menue is minimal
What the cook does to the food is criminal
Pull up a sit frog, grab yourself a stool
May I recommend you try our famous gruel
The Big House
You'll never be alone
Life ain't bad in the big house
No froggy no
Check out after ten
Or eleven years
Make yourself at home
Accommodation here is far superior
Than anything else you will find in Siberia
Let me know if there's anything you need
Everything is free, money back guranteed
Josh Groban(maximum security prisoner):
In the Big House you will not survive
When you arrive in the Big House, run for your life!
Nadya(Tina Fey): The Big House
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the Big House
You'll never get away
For your security
I'll keep the only key
Now please enjoy your stay