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The Ballad Of Tom Jones
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The Ballad Of Tom Jones



What did I do wrong?

Oh, you nearly drove me cuckoo

I am really all that bad?

You're worse than Hannibal Lecter,

Charlie Manson, Freddy Krueger

Why are we still together?

Oh, I can't leave you

till you're dead

You mean

till death do us part

I mean like cyanide,

strangulation or an axe through your head

It was lucky for us

I turned the radio on

They say that music soothes

the savage beast

There was something in that voice

that stopped us seeing red

The two of us would've surely

have ended up dead



You stopped us from killing each other

(Tom Jones, Tom Jones)

You'll never know but you saved our lives

(Tom Jones, Tom Jones)

I've never thrown my knickers at you

And I don't come from wales

Still haven't solved our problems

You mean we hate each other's guts

Still want to poison your pizza

And I still want to cut off your hands

I've phoned the marriage guidance

I've tied the phone-line

round your neck

I'm sick of all this hatred

Oh, that'll be the arsenic

making you sick

You were about to drive me

over the edge of a cliff

As I tried to jump out

I knocked the stereo on

You changed your mind

and then slammed on the brakes

It was lucky for us

we bought his greatest hits



And now our war is over

I've lost the urge to break your neck

I owe my life to

What's New Pussycat

Delilah stopped me hating you

and wishing you're dead

Oh, I used to call Satan

I called you Cruella de Ville

But now you call me your Delilah

And now I'm not your Lucifer

And I am just a pussycat

But just a word of warning now

Just in case

we ever get tired of his voice

I know the Mafia, Godzilla,

King Kong

And I know an atom bomb

that's going for a song


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