The Ball of Kerrymuir
Jim Croce

Four-and-twenty virgins come down from Inverness,

And when the Ball was over, there were four-and-twenty less,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all..

There was doin' in the parlor, there was doin' on the stones,

But ya couldn't a hear the music for the wheezin' and the groans,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The undertaker, he was there, all wrapped up in a shroud,

Swingin' from the chandelier, and peein' on the crowd,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The village cripple, he was there, ah he could not do much,

So he lined the ladies against the wall, and he did 'em with his crutch,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Miss Mary McPherson was standin' way up front,

Some posies in her hand, and a carrot in her cunt,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The Village postman, he was there, but the poor man had the pox,

He could not do the lassies, so he did the letter box,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The Village Magician, he was there, he gave us all a laugh,

He pulled his foreskin over his head, and he vanished up his ass,

Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,

If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.


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Lyrics by Jim Croce

  (and) I Remember Her   A Good Time Man Like Me Ain't Got No Business (Sin...   A Good Time Man Like Me Ain't Got No Business...   A Long Time Ago   Age   Alabama Rain   Alabama Rain [*]   Another Day, Another Town   Bad Bad Leroy Brown   Bad, Bad Leroy Brown   Bad, Bad Leroy Brown [*]   Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown   Ball Of Kerrymuir   Big Fat Woman   Big Wheel   Box #10   Car Wash   Careful Man   Cats In The Cradle   Chain Gang Medley: Chain Gang/He Don't Love You/Se...   Chain Gang Medley: Chain Gang/He Don't Love Y...   Chain Gang Medley: Chain Gang\/He Don't Love\/Sear...   Charlie Green Play That Slide Trombone   Child of Midnight   Child of Midnight [*]   Child of Midnight [#]   Child of Midnight [Jim and Ingrid]   Cigarettes, Whiskey & Wild, Wild Women   Cigarettes, Whiskey & Wild, Wild Women   Cotton Mouth River   Cotton Mouth River [#]   Country Girl   Don't Mess Around With Jim   Dreamin' Again   Dreamin' Again   Five Short Minutes   Greenback Dollar   Gunga Din   Hard Time Losin' Man   Hard Time Losin' Man   Hey Tomorrow   Hey Tomorrow [#][Demo Version]   I Am What I Am   I Am Who I Am   I Got A Name   I Got a Name [*]   I Got a Name [From The Last American Hero]   I Remember Her   I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song   I've Got A Name   I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song   I've Got A Name   It Doesn't Have To Be That Way   It Doesn't Have To Be That Way   Just Another Day   King's Song   King's Song   Lover's Cross   Lover's Cross   Lovers Cross   Maybe Tomorrow   Mississippi Lady   More Than That Tomorrow   More Than That Tomorrow [#]   New York's Not My Home   New York's Not My Home   New Yorku2019s Not My Home   Next Time, This Time   Nobody Loves A Fat Girl   Ol' Man River   Old Man River   One Less Set Of Footsteps   One Less Set of Footsteps [*]   Operator   Operator (that's Not The Way It Feels)   Operator (Thats Not the Way It Feels)   Photographs And Memories   Railroad Song   Railroads And Riverboats   Rapid Roy   Rapid Roy (the Stock Car Boy)   Recently   Roller Derby Queen   Roller Derby Queen [*]   Running Maggie   Salon And Saloon   Speedball Tucker   Speedball Tucker (live)   Speedball Tucker [*]   Spin, Spin, Spin   Steel Rail Blues   Stone Walls   Sun Come Up   The Hard Way Every Time   The Man That Is Me   The Migrant Worker   The Migrant Worker [#]   The Next Man That I Marry   The Sun Come Up   These Dreams   These Dreams (live) [Live]   These Dreams [*]   This Land Is Your Land   Thursday   Time In A Bottle   Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Brighter Day   Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Brighter Day   Top Hat Bar And Grill   Top Hat Bar And Grille   Vespers   Walkin' Back To Georgia   Walkin' Back To Georgia   Way We Used To Be   Wear Out The Turnpike   What Do People Do   What The Hell   Which Way Are You Goin   Which Way Are You Going   Workin At The Car Wash Blues   Workin' At The Car Wash Blues   Workin' At The Car Wash Blues   You Don't Mess Around With Jim   You Don't Mess Around With Jim   You Donu2019t Mess Around with Jim

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