(Various Samples)The question was raised to me the other daywhy I seem to always have joy.Well I'd like to take time to set the record straight.All the joy I've ever known has disappeared...(Brother Ali)Uh, into motherf_ckin' thin air.Like it's never even been there.My joy done left me y'all.Sh_t I never hang my head man.CHORUSAnd God's rain water flow through the same gutterthat we walk today, gotta stay brave brotha.Keep you your lip stiff, keep your fist clenched.At times you gotta kick your way through this b_tch.Verse 1And I can't stop feelin' guilty smilin'.A wise man once told me that every cloud has a silver linin'.I wanted to believe him but its a trick to find em'when the people around me continue dyin'.Grandad was in the twilight of his lifewhen he closed his eyes tight and opened his wrists wide.What make a tenth round fighter with a winning scoredecide he need to throw the towel before the whistle blow?Maybe I'll never know, but I inherited his poetic soulso the sybolism's yet to show.Is life so obscene that death's more serine?Or was an old auther trying to write his own closing scene?Nothin stings like knowin that the woman who gave me this life is being eaten from the inside.I thought we'd never make sh_t right.I wish I'd have viewed it once clearbefore you were done here.That's two in one year that I let leave here,lovin' me, without shedding one single tear.Either I'm one of the strongest people leftor ya'll should stone me for even trying to steal breath.CHORUS X2Verse 2They say Sh_t, scrapper, you all by yourself ain't ya?Damn straight, I got a jail cell nature.Been boxed up but I've never been settled in.Then got tough, started developing leather skin.I learned to make that face that tells predatorsit's better to reassess just who you bout to wrestle with.I'm on one like the first kick drum of the beat.Clear my lungs, spit blood on the street.They tellin me we got nothing to fear but fear itselfbut I fear I have no human fear left.Someday I'm gonna wanna peel back these callusesand really feel life again and that where my challenge is.I've been kickin and bitin for so longthat when they throw me a rescue rope I'll be too weary to hold onand see the light. So I sing through the tearsin the key of life, the way a wounded ego might.Chorus X2BRIDGEMy joy done left me ya'll.She don't show her face around these parts.Every time she come she gets chased off,so she stays distant.Verse 3If it weren't for me squintin he wouldn't know the sun was out.I hate every word that come out of his f_ckin mouth.Ladies treat him special, don't know nothin bout him.If they saw what his wife see they wouldn't fuss about him.He can't do sh_t right but rap and make babiesand babies need daddy at home consistent,but rap keep daddy on the road religious.So even in my two loves my soul is so conflicted.My son came into this world innocentand he deserves everything that needs to live in it.And this home I made for him is broken,I'm hopin his love for me will never grow thin.It hurts daddy to know and to know whenyou were cryin at the hospital I'm out tryin to rock a show.I made a vow that we'd never be broke againand I'd never be a burden on another friend.So when I've sweated on my farewell stage,when I've wrote my last hook in my last rhyme book,when I get the last nod of approval from my family,this is the man I have to be.Chorus X4Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone. You ever felt that way?
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