Puttin' Up With The Joneses
Spirit Of The West

Oh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonnMr. Jones has a little problemnIf I had eyes I'd see that it was menHe's the size of a man with the potential of a boynNot what God had made a child of His to bennI'm afraid that he'll amount to all of nothingnThe joy of reading Yates he'll never knownAnd in the rat race twirl of our computer guided worldnHe stands no chance of winning let alone to place or shownnSo lock him upnThrow away the key, boysnMr. Jones is not like you or menLock him up, tightn'Cuz if he had the chance he mightnShow us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't benOh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonnMr. Jones wanted to be marriednIt seemed like such a cute thing at the timenTwo peas in a podnTwo of a kindnThey'd never have to ask each other, What is on your mind?nnIt seemed a simple way to make him happynAnd happy's such a simple way to benAnd if they kept to themselves like two books upon a shelfnThe kind you judge by the cover and never take the time to readnnSo lock 'em upnThrow away the key, boysnThe Joneses, they're not like you or menLock 'em up, tightn'Cuz if they had the chance they mightnShow us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't benOh nonnMr. Jones and Mrs. JonesnWe're elated to inform younThough you've failed to meet the standardsnWe've a place where we'll reform younIt's a ways outside of townnBut the distance has its usesnClose enough to make the effortnFar enough to make excusesnnLock 'em upnThrow away the key, boysnThe Joneses, they're not like you or menLock 'em up, tightn'Cuz if they had the chance they mightnShow us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't benOh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonnMrs. Jones wants to have a babynShe says that as a woman it's her rightnYes we tried to tell hernI guess that she forgotnWhen she and Mr. Jones were at the doctor's, tied the knotnnWhy can't she just be happy in her own worldnAnd we can all be happy here in oursnAnd we can still help outnEven go as far as to stop off at the Safeway drop some pennies in the jarnnSo lock her upnThrow away the key, boysnMrs. Jones is not like you or menLock her up, tightn'Cuz if she had the chance she mightnShow us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't bennSo lock 'em upnThrow away the key, boysnThe Joneses, they're not like you or menLock 'em up, tightn'Cuz if they had the chance they mightnShow us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't benOh no, oh nonOh no, oh nonOh no, oh no


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