Some people ask me if I'm Jewish
Some people look at me and know
Some people want to know if I believe in Jesus
And have trouble when the answer is Well, no
Some people think that that's my right
Some people think that I am damned
Some people think that I'm a part of a conspiracy
To take over the world and rule with an iron hand
CHORUS:
Y'see, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion are true
And I am a member of standing
Our goal is to milk all the money from you
It's world domination we're planning
Oh no, there I go, I've let the cat right out of the bag
Will you please keep my secret, I pray?
'Cause I'm under cover as a singer-songwriter
Right here at the Sidewalk Café
Some people ask if I'm Middle Eastern
Some people stare at me with hate
Some people want to know if I pick up every penny
So they toss them at me and quickly drive away
Some people think that that's my right
Some people think that I am damned
Some people think that I should pack up all my bags
And get out of the Promised Land
CHORUS
Some people ask if I speak English
Some people stare at me when I pray
Some people want to know if I know the Kabbalah
And have trouble when the answer is Why don't you ask Madonna?
Some people think that that's my right
Some people think that I am damned
Some people think that I'm a real threat to world freedom
And that I will turn their oil into sand
CHORUS
'Cause I'm under cover as a singer-songwriter
Right here at the Sidewalk Cafe