I'll have you know, oh I'll have you knownThat if I had one, I'd play this on pianonAnd if I had one of those, I'd sit it on my kneenAnd count to 1, 2, 3nnAnd if I had one of those other thingsnYou know I'd put it in my mouthnAnd if I had some of those other thingsnOh, I'd put them into jars on the shelfnnBut I'll have you know, oh, oh I'll have you knownThat if I had 10 or 20nI'd have a choir of little children sing along nI'd have a choir of little children sing alongnnAnd I'll have you know, I'll have you knownThat if she had one, she'd put in in a paper bagnIf she had one, she'd put it in a paper bagnThis long gone Grandma would put it in a paper bag nnLabeled pieces of string too small to usenPieces of string too small to usenBut her autumn leaves are now the dirt nAnd those summer winds did blow her hairnnBut now she's pieces of string too small to usenOh pieces of string too small to usenWhat's left is pieces of string too small to usenPieces of string too small to usenPieces of string too small to use