Only an Expert
Laurie Anderson

Now only an expert can deal with the problemnBecause half the problem is seeing the problemnAnd only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnSo if there’s no expert dealing with the problemnIt’s really actually twice the problemnCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnNow in America we like solutionsnWe like solutions to problemsnAnd there’s so many companies that offer solutionsnCompanies with names like Pet SolutionnThe Hair Solution. The Debt Solution. The World Solution. The Sushi Solution.nCompanies with experts ready to solve the problems.nCause only an expert can see there’s a problemnAnd only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly and expert can deal with the problemnnNow let’s say you’re invited to be on OprahnAnd you don’t have a problemnBut you want to go on the show, so you need a problemnSo you invent a problemnBut if you’re not an expert in problemsnYou’re probably not going to invent a very plausible problemnAnd so you’re probably going to get nailednYou’re going to get exposednYou’re going to have to bow down and apologizenAnd beg for the public’s forgiveness.nCause only an expert can see there’s a problemnAnd only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnNow on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problemsnThe big question is always “How can I get control?nHow can I take control?”nBut don’t forget this is a question for the regular viewernThe person who’s barely getting by.nThe person who’s watching shows about people with problemsnThe person who’s part of the 60% of the U.S. populationn1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness.nIn other words, a person with problems.nSo when experts say, “Let’s get to the root of the problemnLet’s take control of the problemnSo if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem.”nNow often this doesn’t work at all because the situation is completely out of control.nCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnSo who are these experts?nExperts are usually self-appointed people or elected officialsnOr people skilled in sales techniques, trained or self-taughtnTo focus on things that might be identified as problems.nNow sometimes these things are not actually problems.nBut the expert is someone who studies the problemnAnd tries to solve the problem.nThe expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance.nBecause often the solution becomes the problem.nCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnNow sometimes experts look for weapons.nAnd sometimes they look everywhere for weapons.nAnd sometimes when they don’t find any weaponsnSometimes other experts say, “If you haven’t found any weaponsnIt doesn’t mean there are no weapons.”nAnd other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids.nAnd refrigerator rods. And small magnets. And they say,n“These things may look like common objects to younBut in our opinion, they could be weapons.nOr they could be used to make weapons.nOr they could be used to ship weapons.nOr to store weapons.”nCause only an expert can see they might be weaponsnAnd only an expert can see they might be problems.nCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnAnd sometimes, if it’s really really really hot.nAnd it’s July in January.nAnd there’s no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities.nAnd hurricanes are everywhere.nAnd everyone knows it’s a problem.nBut if some of the experts say it’s no problemnAnd other experts claim it’s no problemnOr explain why it’s no problemnThen it’s simply not a problem.nBut when an expert says it’s a problemnAnd makes a movie and wins an Oscar about the problemnThen all the other experts have to agree that it is most likely a problem.nCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnAnd even though a county can invade another country.nAnd flatten it. And ruin it. And create havoc and civil war in that other countrynIf the experts say that it’s not a problemnAnd everyone agrees that they’re experts good at seeing problemsnThen invading that country is simply not a problem.nAnd if a country tortures peoplenAnd holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunalsnThis is also not a problem.nUnless there’s an expert who says it’s the beginning of a problem.nCause only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problemnnOnly an expert can see there’s a problemnAnd see the problem is half the problemnAnd only an expert can deal with the problemnOnly an expert can deal with the problem


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Lyrics by Laurie Anderson

  A Curious Phenomenon   Another Day in America   Baby Doll   Babydoll   Bagpipe Solo   Beautiful Pea Green Boat   Beautiful Red Dress   Beginning French   Big Science   Blue Lagoon   Bodies In Motion   Born, Never Asked   Bright Red   Broken   Cartoon Song   City Song   Classified   Closed Circuits   Coolsvile   Coolsville   Dance of Electricity   Dark Angel   Dark Time In The Revolution   Day The Devil   Democratic Way   Difficult Listening Hour   Dream Before   EngliSH   Example #22   Excellent Birds   Falling   False Documents   Finnish Farmers   Four, Three, Two, One   Frames For The Pictures   Free Fall   Freefall   From The Air   Gravity's Angel   Hey Ah   Hiawatha   I Dreamed I Had To Take A Test   In Our Sleep   In Our Sleep [Instrumental][Mix]   It Tango   It Was Up In The Mountains   John Lilly   Kokoku   Language is a Virus   Langue D'amour   Late Show   Let X = X   Let X=X   Life on a String   Lighting Out For The Territories   Looking For You; Walking And Falling   Love Among The Sailors   Mach 20   Maria Teresa Teresa Maria   Monkey's Paw   Muddy River   My Compensation   My Eyes   My Right Eye   New Jersey Turnpike   New York Social Life   Night In Baghdad   O Superman   O Superman (For Massenet)   Odd Objects   On The Way To Jerusalem   One Beautiful Evening   One White Whale   Over The River   Pieces and Parts   Poison   Poison [Instrumental][Mix]   Private Property   Puppet Motel   Ramon   Red Hot   Same Time Tommrow   Same Time Tomorrow   Say Hello   Sharkey's Day   Sharkey's Day (Single Edit)   Sharkey's Night   Slip Away   Smoke Rings   So Happy Birthday   Someone Else's Dream   Song For Two Jims   Speak My Language   Speechless   Speechless (The Eagle and the Weasel)   Statue of liberty   Steven Weed   Stiff Neck   Strange Angels   Strange Perfumes   Structuralist Filmmaking   Sweaters   Talk Normal   Talkshow   Telephone Song   The Beginning of Memory   The Big Top   The Cultural Ambassador   The Day the Devil   The Dream Before   The Dream Before (for Walter Benjamin)   The End Of The World   The Geographic North Pole   The Guests   The Healing Horn   The Hollywood Strangler   The Island Where I Come From   The Lake   The Language Of The Future   The Mailman’s Nightmare   The Mysterious "J"   The Mysterious \   The Mysterious "J"   The Night Flight From Houston   The Ouija Board   The Puppet Motel   The Rotowhirl   The Salesman   The Soul Is A Bird   The Stranger   The Ugly One With The Jewels   The Visitors   Thinking Of You   Three Songs For Paper, Film And Video   Three Walking Songs   Tightrope   Time And A Half   Transitory Life   Turning Time Around [Lou Reed]   Voices On Tape   Walk The Dog   Walking & Falling   Walking & Falling   Walking Falling   Washington Street   White Lily   Word Of Mouth   World Without End   Yankee See

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