Northcote
The Jane Austen Argument

TOM: She bakes vegan feminist cookies
Then eats them ironically – to stick it to the man.

JEN: Then she rides to work on her bicycle made from recycled fair trade coffee
grinders from her ex-favourite café.

Tom:
she doesn’t go there anymore
having decided that the life drawing classes held there are too gender binary.

Jen:
Her final crayon portrait had been entitled “Womyn with penis”.

Tom:
She works at an organic produce store and campaigns at her employers to serve all
foods out of dumpsters to encourage a healthier variety of food to her friends from the
anti-everything collective.

Jen:
When she arrives home, her partner is there.

Tom:
No. Not partner. That is way too corporate
Boyfriend is clearly inaccurate because it denies his innate right to be gender-queer.

Jen:
When she arrives home – her lover is there.

Tom:
Lover makes him sound like an object and their love is far less restrictive than that
and besides – it might imply that he is one of many (not that there is anything wrong
with polygamy – polygamy is fine so long as you have the active understanding and
consent of each party involved.

Jen:
When she arrives home… Roy… is there.
He is cooking a free-range tofu scramble
Because do you know how unethically they treat tofu in some of those farms?

Tom:
He grows his own weed and tells his plants he doesn’t care what sex they are.
He just has a different kind of love for those that produce bud.

Jen:
They sit at home and they watch their TV. Which is broken, but they watch it anyway to remind themselves of the right-wing media strangulation of this imperalist country?

Tom:
They wear badges for every cause, which is really hard when you’re a nudist…

Jen:
They fall asleep knitting graffiti patterns of Karl Marx ideologies, and dreaming of freedom…

Tom:
and free love…

Jen:
and free range…

Tom:
and freegans…

Jen & Tom:
oh, freegans!

Tom:
And then they imagine how good the world would be if everyone was as good to it…

Jen & Tom:
As they are…


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