And I shiver and blink as I think nIncredulous it seems, not a firstnBut rather of the lasting memoriesnHolding fast, in a past the present never thoughtnSeams and up and down our pathnMetered noises I have walkednEnveloped by dark, entranced by fear nOf soon knowing what isn't or what wasn'tnSmells of old, steps I knew herenDespite my prayers and tearsnHeld back by eyes wide on cheeks whitenReaching blind for the beginning of the endnNear what started as smilesnTurned to quivering lips bit by chattering teethnForward to the left or to the right have drew me to a doornA door pounding loud with pulsenMy trembling digits open widenMy heart beats on a hinge with a subtle creaknWhispers and winds of my presence expectednSent scurries of restless spirits abounding through myselfnAnd a lifeless blackened room within myselfnAnd the lonely shelf beyond my eyesnAnd the fated hole, jolting shocksnVine awaking so vividly unclear nMy soul went still in my memory of nothing afternWhat I thought I found, only to forgetnIn what was known for an hour of seconds, a lifetime of momentsnIs neither of my knowledge, confusion, or being now, nor will it ever benTill life is death, till death is knowledge, and knowledge is lifenAmen