Mr. Mistoffelees
Andrew Lloyd Webber

You ought to know about Mr. Mistoffelees the original Conjuring Cat.
(There can be no doubt about that.) Please listen to me and don't scoff.
All his inventions are off his own bat. there's no such cat in the Metropolis:
He holds all the patent monopolies,
For performing surprising illusions and creating eccentric confusions.

The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn.
And you'll all say:
Oh! well I never was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees.

He is quiet he is small he is black,
From his ears to the tip of his tail.
He can creep through the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.

He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice.
He is always deceiving you into believing that he's only hunting for mice.
He can play any trick with a cork,

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste.
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced;
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone,
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn.

[Chorus: x2]
And we all say: Oh!
Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mister Mistoffelees.

My manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there is nobody shyer,
But my voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire,

And I've sometimes been heard by the fire;
When I was around on the roof
(At least they all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestable proof

Of my singular magical powers,
And I've known the family to call
Me in the garden for hours
While I was asleep in the hall.

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

[Chorus]

And not long ago this phenomenal cat,
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!

[Chorus]


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Lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber

  Angel Of Music   Gethsemane (I Only Want To Say)   Go Go Go Joseph   Then We Are Decided   (CATS) Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer   [CATS] Prologue: Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats   "as If We Never Said Goodbye"   "Sunset Boulevard"   A Little Slice Of Heaven   Act One: The Invitation To The Jellicle Ball   Ah, Christine!   All I Ask of You   All I Ask Of You (Phantom Of The Opera)   All I Ask of You (Reprise)   All I Ask of You [From Phantom of the Opera]   All I Ask of You [Instrumental]   All I Ask of You [Phanton of the Opera]   All I Ask Of You Phanton Of The Opera (Various Son...   Amigos Para Siempre (Friends For Life) [The Offici...   And The Money Kept Rolling In (And Out)   Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Point Of No Return\/chan...   Angel of Music   Angel of Music [Phanton of the Opera]   Another Suitcase In Another Hall   Another Suitcase in Another Hall [From Evita]   Any Dream Will Do   Any Dream Will Do (from Joseph and His Amazing Tec...   Any Dream Will Do (from Joseph and His Amazing Tec...   Any Dream Will Do (Joseph And The Amazing Technico...   Any Dream Will Do [From Joseph & the Amazing Techn...   Anything But Lonely   Anything But Lonely (Anything But Lonely)   Arrest, The   Arrival Of The Trio   Arrival Of The Trio / Are You Ready To Begin?   Arrival Of The Trio / Are You Ready To Begin?   Arrival Of The Trio/Are You Ready To Begin   As If We Never Said Goodbye   As If We Never Said Goodbye [From Sunset Boulevard...   As If We Never Said Goodbye [Panpipes]   Bathing Beauty   Bathing Beauty   Beautiful   Beautiful   Before The Performance   Beneath A Moonless Sky   Beneath A Moonless Sky   Beneath A Moonless Sky   Benjamin Calypso   Benjamin Calypso (Joseph And The Amazing Technicol...   Buenos Aires   Bustopher Jones   Bustopher Jones (Cats)   Christine Disembarks   Close Every Door   Close Every Door (From Joseph and the Technicolor ...   Close Every Door (Joseph And The Amazing Technicol...   Close Every Door [From Joseph & the Amazing Techni...   Come Back With the Same Look in Your Eyes   Could We Start Again Please   Crucifixion   Crucifixion (Jesus Christ Superstar)   Damned For All Time   Damned For All Time - Blood Money   Damned For All Time\/Blood Money   Dear Old Friend   Dear Old Friend   Devil Take The Hindmost   Devil Take The Hindmost (Quartet)   Don't Cry For Me Argentina   Don't Cry for Me Argentina   Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Evita)   Don't Cry for Me Argentina (from Evita)   Don't Cry for Me Argentina (from Evita)   Don't Cry for Me Argentina, song (for the musical ...   Don't Cry for Me Argentina, song (for the musical ...   Don't Cry For Me Argentina   Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Evita)   Down Once More / Track Down This Murderer   Down Once More Track Down This Murderer (The Phant...   Down Once More\/Track Down This Murderer   Entr'acte   Everything's Alright   Everything's Alright (Reprise)   Everything's Alright [Panpipes]   Everything's Alright   Everything's Alright (Jesus Christ Superstar)   Everything's Alright (Reprise)   Everything's Alright Reprise (Jesus Christ Su...   Finale   Finale Any Dream Will DoGive Me My Colored Coat (J...   Finale: Any Dream Will Do / Give Me My Colored Coa...   Gethsemane   Gethsemane (I Only Want To Say)   Giry Confronts The Phantom   Giry Confronts The Phantom / 'Til I Hear You Sing ...   Giry Confronts The Phantom / 'Til I Hear You Sing ...   Giry Confronts The Phantom / Are You Ready To Begi...   Giry Confronts The Phantom/'Til I Hear You Sing (R...   Go Go Go Joseph   Goodnight And Thank You   Grizabella   Grizabella The Glamour Cat   Grizabella, the Glamour Cat   Grizabella: The Glamour Cat   Grovel Grovel (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor ...   Growltiger's Last Stand   Gus The Theater Cat   Gus: the Theatre Cat   Gustave! Gustave!   Half a Moment   Half a Moment   Heart Is Slow to Learn   Heart Is Slow to Learn   Heaven By The Sea   Heaven By The Sea (Reprise)   Heaven On Their Minds   Heaven On Their Minds [From Jesus Christ Superstar...   Herod's Song   High Flying Adored   High Flying, Adored   High Flying, Adored   Hosanna   I Am the Starlight   I Am the Starlight [Instrumental]   I Believe My Heart   I Don't Know How to Love Him   I Don't Know How to Love Him [From Jesus Christ Su...   I Don't Know How to Love Him [From Jesus Christ Su...   I Don't Know How To Love Him   I Dreamed A Dream   I Remember...   I Remember....   I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt it   I Remember\/Stranger Than You Dreamt it   I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You   I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You   It's Easy For You   Jacob and Sons   Jacob In Egypt   Jellicle Song For Jellicle Cats   Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats   Jesus Christ Superstar   John Nineteen: Forty-one   Joseph All The Time   Joseph In Egypt (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolo...   Joseph's Dreams   Joseph's Dreams [From Joseph & the Amazing Technic...   Joseph's Coat   Joseph's Dreams   Judas' Death   Judas's Death   Judas's Death   Judas's Death   Judas' Death   King Herod's Song   King Herod's Song (Try It And See)   King Herod's Song   Ladies...   Lament   Last Supper   Last Supper, The   Latin Chant   Learn to be Lonely   Learn to Be Lonely, song (for the film The Phantom...   Learn to Be Lonely, song (for the film The Phantom...   Let's Have Lunch   Little Lotte / The Mirror (Angel Of Music)   Little Lotte/The Mirror   Little Lottie...   Look With Your Heart   Love Changes Everything   Love Changes Everything (from Aspects of Love)   Love Changes Everything (from Aspects of Love)   Love Changes Everything [From Aspects in Love]   Love Changes Everything [From Aspects of Love]   Love Never Dies   Love Never Dies Prologue   Macavity   Macavity the Mystery Cat   Magical Lasso   Magical Lasso...   Married Man   Masquerade   Masquerade ... Why So Silent?   Masquerade ... Why So Silent?   Masquerade [DVD]   Masquerade [From The Phantom of the Opera]   Masquerade\/why So Silent?   Memory   Memory (Cats)   Memory (Instrumental) [Instrumental]   Memory [From Cats]   Memory, song (for the musical Cats)   Memory, song (for the musical Cats)   Mirror (Angel of Music)   Moments Of Happiness   Montage   Mother Please, I'm Scared   Mother, Did You Watch?   Mr Mistoffelees   Mr. Mistoffolees   Mungo Jerrie And Rumpleteazer   Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer   Music of the Night   Music of the Night [From Phantom of the Opera]   Music of the Night [Instrumental]   New Ways To Dream   Next Time You Fall In Love   No Matter What   Notes \/ Twisted Every Way   Notes...   Oh What A Circus   Old Deuteronomy   On My Own   Once Upon Another Time   One More Angel   One More Angel in Heaven   One More Angel in Heaven [From Joseph & The Amazin...   One More Angel in Heaven [From Joseph & the Amazin...   Only For Him   Only For Him / Only For You   Only For Him \/ Only For You   Only For Him/Only For You   Only You   Only You [From Starlight Express]   Overture   Overture   Overture [From Jesus Christ Superstar]   Perfect Year   Peter's Denial   Peter's Denial   Peter's Denial   Peter's Denial   Phantom of the Opera   Phantom of the Opera (from The Phantom of the Oper...   Phantom of the Opera (from The Phantom of the Oper...   Phantom of the Opera (movie lyrics)   Phantom of the Opera [From Phantom of the Opera]   Phantom of the Opera [Panpipes]   Pharaoh Story   Pharaoh's Dreams Explained   Pharaoh's Dreams Explained   Pie Jesu   Pilate & Christ   Pilate And Christ   Pilate And Christ   Pilate's Dream   Pilate's Dream   Please, Miss Giry, I Want To Go Back   Please, Miss Giry, I Want To Go Back...   Please,Miss Giry, I Want To Go Back   Point of No Return   Poor Fool He Makes Me Laugh   Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh   Poor Jerusalem   Poor Poor Joseph   Poor, Poor Pharaoh   Potiphar   Prima Donna   Prima Donna [From The Phantom of the Opera]   Prologue   Prologue (Love Never Dies)   Rainbow High   Rainbow Tour   Requiem For Evita   Rolling stock   Rum Tum Tugger   Santa Evita   Seeing Is Believing   Seeing Is Believing (Aspects Of Love)   Seeing Is Believing (Seeing Is Believing)   Seeing Is Believing [From Aspects of Love]   Seeing Is Believing [Instrumental]   She Is A Diamond   Simon Zealotes   Simon Zealotes - Poor Jerusalem   Simon Zealotes\/Poor Jerusalem   Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat   Starlight Express   Starlight Express [From Starlight Express]   Stone The Crows   Strange Thing Mystifying   Sunset Boulevard   Sunset Boulevard [From Sunset Boulevard]   Superstar   Superstar (from Jesus Christ Superstar)   Superstar [DVD]   Surrender   Surrender [From Sunset Boulevard]   Surrender, song (for the musical Sunset Boulevard)   Surrender, song (for the musical Sunset Boulevard)   Take That Look Off Your Face   Take That Look Off Your Face [From Song and Dance]   Tell me on a Sunday   Tell Me On A Sunday [From Song and Dance]   Tell Me on a Sunday [From Tell Me on a Sunday]   Tell Me on a Sunday [Instrumental]   Tell Me On Sunday   That's The Place You Ruined, You Fool   The Actress Hasn't Learned The Lines (You'd Like t...   The Ad-Dressing of Cats   The Ad-Dressing Of The Cats   The Aerie   The Aerie (the Cheap Coney Fuckheap Slimey)   The All I Ask Of You   The Angel Of Music   The Arrest   The Art Of The Possible   The Beauty Underneath   The Beauty Underneath   The Brothers Come To Egypt (Joseph And The Amazing...   The Coney Island Waltz   The Coney Island Waltz   The Crucifixion   The Crucifixion   The Crucifixion   The First Man You Remember   The Greatest Star Of All   The Greatest Star of All [From Sunset Boulevard [I...   The Heart Is Slow To Learn   The Heart Is Slow to Learn [DVD]   The Heart Is Slow to Learn, song (for the musical ...   The Heart Is Slow to Learn, song (for the musical ...   The Invitation To The Jellicle Ball   The Jellicle Ball   The Jellicle Ball [From Cats]   The Journey to the Heaviside Layer   The Last Supper   The Last Supper   The Last Supper   The Last Supper [From Jesus Christ Superstar]   The Mirror (Angel of Music)   The Moments of Happiness   The Music of the Night   The Music of the Night (from Phantom of the Opera)   The Music of the Night (from Phantom of the Opera)   The Music of the Night [From Phantom of the Opera]   The Music of the Night, song (for the musical The ...   The Music of the Night, song (for the musical The ...   The Naming Of Cats   The Old Gumbie Cat   The Pekes And The Pollicles   The Perfect Year   The Perfect Year (From Sunset Boulevard/Vocals)   The Perfect Year [DVD]   The Perfect Year, song (for the musical Sunset Bou...   The Perfect Year, song (for the musical Sunset Bou...   The Phantom Confronts Christine   The Phantom Confronts Christine   The Phantom of the Opera   The Phantom of the Opera [From Phantom of the Oper...   The Point of No Return   The Rum Tum Tugger   The Swordfight   The Temple   The Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again   Then We Are Decided   Think of Me   Think Of Me (From The Play)   Think Of Me (Phantom)   Think of Me [From Phantom of the Opera]   This Jesus Must Die   Those Canaan Days   Til I Hear You Sing   Till I Hear You Sing   Too Much In Love To Care   Trial Before Pilate   Trial Before Pilate (Including 39 Lashes)   Trial Before Pilate (Including The 39 Lashes)   Try Not to Be Afraid   Unexpected Song   Waltz For Eva And Che   Wandering Child...   We Have All Been Blind   What A Dreadful Town   What A Dreadful Town!...   What A Dreadful Town!...   What's the Buzz   What's the Buzz   What's The Buzz\/Strange Thing Mystifying   What's The Buzz   What's The Buzz - Strange Thing Mystifying   Whistle Down the Wind   Who's The Thief   Who's The Thief   Why Does She Love Me   Why Does She Love Me?   Why Does She Love Me?   Why Have You Brought Me Here...   Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again   Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again [From Phantom ...   Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again [From The Phan...   Wishing you were Somehow Still here Again [From Ph...   With One Look   Woman In White   You Must Love Me

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