Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa
De La Soul

If you will suck my soul

I will lick your funky emotions


This is the stylin' for a title that sounds silly

But nothin' silly about the triflin' times of Millie

Millie, a Brooklyn queen, originally from Philly

Complete with that accent that made her sound hillbilly


Around this time, the slammin' joint was 'Milk is Chillin''

But even cooler was my social worker Dillon

Yeah, I had a social worker 'coz I had some troubles

Anyone who'd riff on me, I'd pop their dome like bubbles


He'd bring me to his crib to watch my favorite races

That's how his daughter Millie become one of my favorite faces

She had the curves that made you wanna take chances

I mean on her, man, I'd love to make advances


I guess her father musta got the same feelin'

I mean, actually findin' his own daughter Millie appealin'

At the time no one knew but it was a shame

That Millie became a victim of the touchy-touchy game


Yo Millie, what's the problem? Lately you've been buggin'

On your Dukie earrings, someone must be tuggin'

You were a dancer who could always be found clubbin'

Now you're world renowned with the frown you're luggin'


Come to think, your face look stink when Dill's around you

He's your father, what done happen, did he ground you?

You shouldn't flip on him 'coz Dill is really cool

Matter of fact, the coolest elder in the school


He hooked up a trip to bring us all the Lacey

He volunteered to play old Santa Claus at Macy's

Child, ya got the best of pops anyone could have

Dillon's cool, super hip, you should be glad


Yeah, it seemed that Santa's ways were parallel with Dillon

But when Millie an' him got home, he was more of a villain

While she slept in, he crept inside her bedroom

An' he would toss an' then would force her to give him head room


Millie tried real hard to let this Hell not happen

But when she'd fuss, he would just commence to slappin'

Yo Dillon, man, Millie's been out of school for a week, man

What's the deal? I guess he was givin' Millie's bruises time to heal


Of course he told us she was sick an' we believed him

An' at the department store as Santa we would see 'em

An' as he smiled, his own child was at home plottin'

How off the face of this earth she was gonna knock him


When I got home, I found she had tried to call me

My machine had kicked to her, ‽Hey how ya doin'?”, ‽Sorry”

I tried to call the honey but her line was busy

I guess I'll head to Macy's an' bug out on Dillon


I received a call from Misses Sick herself

I asked her how was she recoverin' her health

She said that what she had to ask would make it seem minute

She wanted to talk serious, I said, ‽Go ahead, shoot


She claimed I hit the combo dead upon the missle

Wanted to know if I could get a loaded pistol

That ain't a problem but why would Millie need one

She said she wanted her pops Dillon to heed one


Ran some style about him pushin' on her privates

‽Look honey, I don't care if you kick five fits

There's no way that you can prove to me that Dill's flip

He might breathe a blunt but ya jeans he wouldn't rip”


‽You're just mad he's your overseer at school

No need to play him out like he's someone cruel”

She kicked that she would go get it from somewhere else

‽Yeah, whatever you say, go for ya self”


Macy's department store, the scene for Santa's kisses

An' all the little brats demandin' all of their wishes

Time passes by as I wait for my younger brother

He, as his wish, I waste no time to return him back to Mother


As I'm jettin', Millie floats in like a zombie

I ask her what's her problem, all she says is, Where is he?

I give a point, she pulls a pistol, people screamin'

She shouts to Dill, he's off to Hell 'coz he's a Demon


None of the kids could understand what was the cause

All they could see was a girl holdin' a pistol on Claus

Dillon pleaded mercy, said he didn't mean to

Do all the things that her mind could do nothin' but cling to

Millie bucked him an' with the quickness it was over


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Lyrics by De La Soul

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