Memoirs
This Is Hell

Frustrated by failure, failure to communicatenI just want to give upnThrow in the towel, let it all slip awaynEverything's become a filthy version of what it once wasnI'm disgusted by my waning passionnAnd my embrace for guiltnRetrospect brings regretnBut for now I'm shutting it all outnJust expect nothing lessnTo be filled with self loathing and doubtnThis potent sting of remorse is killing me becausenRetrospect brings regretnFrom now on I'm shutting it all outnI guess I lied when I said I'd die tryingnSo it would seem that I'm better off lyingnIn a pool of misery in the nearest reachesnOf despair because I've reached rockbottomnClutching memories making sure I've got themnAnd if nothing morenI'll take them to my fucking gravenI've given all I can and I can't give anymorenBeen screaming fuck! for so longnMy throat is bloody and rawnAnd letting it slip away is somethingnThat I thought I'd never donLooking back at the photographs to seenThe difference was in my eyesnI must have lost something along the waynUsed to turn anger to drivenBut my eyes are open to realitynI'm through asking questions like why me?nI'm fucking done and I'm admitting defeatnAnd I wouldn't have it any other waynI wouldn't have it any other waynNo one else can control menAnd when I looked backnI realized the difference was in my eyesnAnd now that I've come to termsnWith the relentlessness of miserynAnd recaptured the urgent feelings of despairnI feel whole again, whole again in the emptinessnAnd that is something I will both despise and cherishnWith every fiber of my beingnComing to terms with the miserynComing to terms with the relentlessnessnAnd that's something I will despisenWith ever fiber of my beingnComing to terms with the miserynComing to terms with the relentlessnessnAnd that's something I will cherishnAnd I'll do it with the greatest sincerity


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