I’m screwing college freshmannand desperate housewivesnCould it be I’m stuck dead center between my teens and my thirties?nEnvisioning how my children would look if I had ‘em with the woman in the checkout line in front of menMaybe they’d look like my last girlfriendn19, English major, diet coke-head nTreats me more like a big brother helpin with homeworknBut I see her like a mothernMy head on her chest, her hand on my shouldernnMe and my friends are all waiting for somethinnBut we don’t know what it is nSay are you my friend? I only know one thingnBut I don’t know what it isnnBut I was too into hernI had to get outnI needed someone my age who could talk about campaign finance reformnAnd the Velvet UndergroundnWell the truth is nI can’t stand Lou ReednBut there’s something noble about dating women you’re not attracted to right?nOr fucking men when you’re straight right?nIt’s that, wow… I’m a 21st century dudenUnlike my father who pronounces Vegan “Vagan” voted for Ragan and is so oldnnMe and my friends are all waiting for somethinnBut we don’t know what it is nSay are you my friend? I only know one thingnBut I don’t know what it isnI don’t know what it isnnWell the truth is nI feel age creepin’ on me real slow n quiet likenLike a freight train made of screaming babiesnSo me n my friendz drink like fishies to reduce the IMPACTnSelf medicating through anonymous sexnAnd the occasional hungover moment of insightnSpoken aloud, but no one’s listening nWalkin home with a headache and smokey hairnSo I checked nAnd my sent message isnTo see who I’m, I’m in love withnAnd it, it turns out it’s you this week nCongratulations girlnWe could get Japanese food or coffee nDip our hands in culturenBefore we put em on eachothernMan, I don’t know what love is but I wanna find out, Hey!nI don’t know, nonI wanna fall in lovenBut I don’t know what it is
Lyrics by Facing New York
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