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Mary Is Coming
Cretin

“Mary is coming,” she kept telling them. No one had a clue that she was talking about her baby, mainly


because she wasn’t pregnant. Se- cretly, she had stalked the woman down the street, timing the attack


so the baby would live through it, but after knocking the woman over the head she couldn’t bring


herself to cut it out. She knew she was a coward, and mothers needed courage.


Depressed, she bought a doll, trained for weeks, and finally worked it up her vagina. Just to know how


it felt. But it got stuck in there. She missed work, sleeping most of the week and failing to eat. When the



paramedics arrived and found her in a puddle of infection, she moaned, “Mary is coming.” One said,


“Ma’am, you’re in shock.” She wanly smiled. “Mary means wished for. Isn’t that beautiful?” But there


was nothing beautiful about Mary. Still, she wept when they allowed her to hold her. She went to jail


and never saw Mary again.


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