Lord Chancellor's Nightmare Song
Todd Rundgren

Love unrequited, robs me of me rest,
Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers,
Love, nightmare like, lies heavy of me chest,
And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers.

When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and
Repose is taboo'd by anxiety,
I conceive you may use any language you choose to
Indulge in, without impropriety;
For your brain is on fire, the bed-clothes conspire of
Usual slumber to plunder you:
First your counter-pane goes, and uncovers your toes,
And your sheet slips demurely from under you;
Then the blanketing tickles, you feel like mixed
Pickles, so terribly sharp is the pricking,
And you're hot and you're cross, and you tumble and
Toss 'til there's nothing 'twixt you and the
Ticking.
Then the bed-clothes all creep to the ground in a heap
And you pick 'em all up in a tangle;
Next your pillow resigns and politely declines to
Remain at it's usual angle!
Well, you get some repose in the form of a doze, with
Hot eye-balls and head ever aching,
But your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams
That you'd very much better be waking;
For you dream you are crossing the Channel, and
Tossing about in a steamer from Harwich,
Which is something between a large bathing machine and
A very small second class carriage,
And you're serving a treat (penny ice and cold meat) to
A party of friends and relations,
They're a ravenous horde, and they all come on board
At Sloane Square and South Kensington Stations.
And bound on that journey you find your attorney
(who set off this morning from Devon);
He's a bit undersiz'd and you don't feel surpris'd
When he tells you he's only eleven.
Well you're driving like mad with this singular lad
(by the bye the ship's now a four wheeler),
And you're playing round games, and he calls you bad
Names when you tell him that ties pay the dealer;
But this you can't stand so you throw up your hand,
And you find you're as cold as an icicle;
In your shirt and your socks (the black silk with gold
Clocks) crossing Sal'sbury Plain on a bicycle:
And he and the crew are on bicycles too, which they've
Somehow or other invested in,
And he's telling the tars all the particulars of a
Company he's interested in;
It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices, all
Good from cough mixtures to cables
(Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as
Though they were all vegetables;
You get a good spadesman to plant a small tradesman
(first take off his boots with a boot tree),
And his legs will take root, and his fingers will
Shoot, and they'll blossom and bud like a fruit
Tree;
From the green grocer tree you get grapes and green
Pea, cauliflower, pine apple and cranberries,
While the pastry cook plant cherry brandy will grant,
Apple puffs, and three corners, and banburys;
The shares are a penny and ever so many are taken by
Rothschild and Baring,
And just as a few are allotted to you, you awake
And with a shudder despairing
You're a regular wreck, with a crick in your neck, and
No wonder you snore, for your head's on the floor
And you've needles and pins from your soles to your
Shins, and your flesh is acreep, for your left leg's
Asleep,
And you've cramp in your toes, and a fly on your nose,
And some fluff in your lung, and a feverish tongue,
And a thirst that's intense,
And a general sense that you haven't been sleeping in
Clover;
But the darkness has pass'd, and it's daylight at
Last, and the night has been long, ditto, ditto my
Song,
And thank goodness they're both of them over!


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Lyrics by Todd Rundgren

  A Dream Goes on Forever   A Dream Goes On Forever   A Long Time, A Long Way To Go   All Smiles   All The Children Sing   Alone   An Elpee's Worth Of Toons   Another Life   Attitude   Baby Let's Swing   Baby Let's Swing (On Original Runt)   Back on the Street   Bag Lady   Bang On The Drum   Bang On The Ukelele Daily   Bang The Drum All Day   Bang the Drum All Day [Rosetta Stone Mix]   be Nice To Me   Believe In Me   Believe in Me [Bonus Track] [*]   birthday Carol   Black & White   Black And White   black Maria   bleeding   Blue Orpheus   Boat On The Charles   Boogies   Boogies (Hamburger Hell)   Born To Synthesize   Bread   Breathless   Broke Down & Busted   Broke Down And Busted   Buffalo Grass   Call To The Grave   Can We Still Be Friends   Can't Stop Running   Can't Stop Running (Live)   Caravan   chain Letter   Change Myself   Change Myself (Live)   Chant   Cliche   Come As You Are   Compassion   Cool Fire   Cool Jerk   couldn't I Just Tell You   Courage   Da Da Dali   Determination   devil's Bite   Does Anybody Love You?   Dogfight Giggle   Don't Hurt Yourself   don't Tie My Hands   Don't You Ever Learn?   Dreams Of Ordinary Men   Drive   dust In The Wind   Eastern Intrigue   Eastern Intrigue\/Initiation   Emperor Of The Highway   Entropy   Everybody's Going To Heaven / King Kong Reggae   Everybody's Going to Heaven \/ King Kong Reggae   Fade Away   Fair Warning   Feel It   Feel It (Live)   Feel It (Tubes Version)   Feel Too Good   Feet Don't Fail Me Now   fidelity   Flesh   For A Song   Free, Male And 21   Free, Male, And Twenty-One   Freedom Fighter   From Hunger   Gaya's Eyes   Golden Goose   Good Vibrations   Hammer In Your Heart   happenings Ten Years Time Ago   Hawking   Healer   Healing Part I   Healing Part Ii   Healing Part Iii   Heaven's Falling   Heavy Metal Kids   hello It's Me   Hello Its Me   Hello, It's Me   Hideaway   Hit Me Like A Train   Hodja   Holyland   Honest Work   hope I'm Around   Hope I'm Around (On Original Runt)   Hungry For Love   Hurting For You   I Don't Want To Tie You Down   I Hate My Frickin I.S.P   I Hate My Frickin Isp   I Love My Life   I Saw The Light   I Think You Know   I Want You   i Went To The Mirror   i'm In The Clique   I'm So Proud   If 6 Was 9   If I Have To Be Alone   If Six Was Nine   Imagination   In The End   Influenza   Initiation   International Feel   Is It My Name?   It Takes Two To Tango   it Takes Two To Tango (this Is For The Girls)   It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference   Izzat Love?   Jerk   Jesse   Jesse (Live)   Johnee Jingo   Johnee Jingo (Live)   Just Another Onionhead   Just One Victory   Kindness   Kindness (Live)   L-5   La La Means I Love You   Last of the New Wave Riders   Le Feel Internacionale   Life Goes On   little Red Lights   Lockjaw   long Flowing Robe   Lord Chancellor's Nightmare Song   Lost Horizon   Love In Action   Love In Disguise   Love In Disguise (Up Against It Version)   Love Is The Answer   Love Of The Common Man   Love of the Common Man [Recorded Live at the Rivie...   Love Science   Love Science (Live)   Love's A Mystery   Love's A Mystery (I Don't Understand)   Lucky Guy   Lysistrata   marlene   Marvin Gaye Trilogy   Mated   Maybe I'm Better Off   Mercy Mercy   Midnight Sun   Mighty Love   Miracle In The Bazaar   Most Likely You Go Your Way And I'll Go Mine   Never Never Land   Never Neverland   No. 1 Lowest Common Denominator   Number 1 Lowest Common Denominator   once Burned   One Good Reason   One More Day   One More Day (No Word)   One World   One World (Acoustic Encore) [Live]   Only Human   Onomatopoeia   ooh Baby Baby   Open My Eyes   Out Of Control   Overture - My Roots   Overture -- My Roots: Money (That's What I Want)\/...   Parallel Lines   Parole   Piece By Piece   Ping Me   piss Aaron   Pretending To Care   Princess of the Universe   Public Servant   Public Servant (Live)   Pulse   rain   Real Man   remember Me   Rock And Roll Pussy   Rock Love   Rock Love (Live)   saving Grace   Say No More   Say No More (On Original Runt)   second Wind   Secret Society   Shine   slut   some Folks Is Even Whiter Than Me   Something To Fall Back On   Something to Fall Back On [Recorded Live at Rivier...   Sometimes I Don't Know What To Feel   song Of The Viking   Sons of 1984   Soothe   strawberry Fields Forever   Sweet   sweeter Memories   Temporary Sanity   The Ballad   the Ballad (denny And Jean)   The Death Of Rock And Roll   The Finale   The Ikon   The Last Ride   the Last Thing You Said   The Night The Carousel Burned Down   The Night The Carousel Burnt Down   the Range War   The Seven Rays   The Smell Of Money   The Smell Of Money (Live)   The Spark Of Life   The Surf Talks   The Verb 'to Love'   The Waiting Game   The Want Of A Nail   The Want of a Nail [Recorded Live at Riviera Theat...   The Wheel   The Wondering   There Goes Your Baybay   Time Heals   Time Stood Still 1.0   Tin Soldier   Tiny Demons   Tiny Devils   Too Far Gone   torch Song   Trapped   Tv Is King   Two Little Hitlers   Unloved Children   Up Against It   Useless Begging   Utopia Theme   wailing Wall   We Gotta Get You A Woman   We Understand Each Other   When I Pray   When The Shit Hits The Fan - Sunset Blvd.   Where Does The Time Go?   Who's Sorry Now   Who's Sorry Now (Live)   who's That Man   Who's That Man?   Wolfman Jack   Word Made Flesh   World Wide Ephiphany   Yer Fast   Yer Fast (And I Like It)   You Cried Wolf   You Don't Have To Camp Around   you Left Me Sore   You Make Me Crazy   You Need Your Head   Zen Archer

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