Living Next Door To Alan
Kevin Bloody Wilson

They came down from Meekatharra nIn a burned-out blue FJnThat farted and just shit itself in Jutland ParadenRight next door to Bondy'snWhen the smoke had cleared a voice said:n'Eh .. this place look all rightnWe'll tell the government it's a sacred sitenDead fuckin' easy'nn'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' bloke?nHey, I'm your brand-new neighbour ... hey, mate you got a smoke?nAnd I think I'm gonna like it herenLivin' next door to Alan'nnTwenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogsnA dead roo on the roof rack and a boot load full of grogn'And I'm flash as Michael Jackson now I'mnLivin' next door to Alan'nn'The first thing that we gott a do is get another carn'Cause the one sittin' out the front won't even fuckin' startnWe'll call that bloke again from the governmentnHe's all right, eh?'nnSo they called the bloke in charge of all the government grantsnAnd the next day in the driveway was a new Mercedes Benzn'Eh, come 'n' have a look at this one, EdwinnThis one's got a wireless ... look at this, eh'nn'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?nYou got a real flash car, but my one's flash one, ehnAnd I believe that my one's faster than yours, Mr Bondn'Cause mine's a red one'nnTwenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogsnAll squeezed in the front seat with the wireless turned full onnListenin' to Slim Dusty now they'renLivin' next door to AlannnSo Bondy called Ben Lexcen and said:n'I want another yacht, twice as bignAnd twice as fast as what I already gotnThat'll fuck 'em'nnSo his neighbours called some welfare mob, not to be outdonenAnd got the HMAS Melbourne on some sorta government loannGot me knackered -- they just said they wanted tonGo fishin' for yabbies in the rivernn'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?nYou got a real flash boat, but my one's flash one, eh?nAnd I think I'm gonna put him in the rivernNext door to Alan'snnFifteen dogs, 9 adults, two dozen screaming kidsnWith lines strung from the flight deck, tryin' to catch some squidnSwimmin', fishin', pissin' in the rivernNext door to AlannnSo Bondy threw a party,nThe likes you've never seennAnd invited everybody from the Premier to the Queen --nAnd the Leyland BrothersnnSo his neighbours baked bungarra on a barbie on the lawnnAnd invited all their relatives from Meekatharra to come downn'Hey, Edwin, don't you forget to bring a big flagon of wooblanThere's a party on at my 'ouse!'nn'I don't know why he's leavin', or where he's gonna gonHe says he's got his reasons and I reckon that I knownHe just never got used tonLivin' next door to Abos'nn'He's jumpin' up and down and he's makin' such a fussnAt least we don't got fuckin' coons livin' next door to us!nNow we gotta get used to notnLivin' next door to AlannnNow we gotta get used to notnLivin' next door to Alannn

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