Like Anchors
New Orleans Swim Team

It's like in that split second you what to say and how to say it, but instead of catharsis, you get lethargic and carsick. Coughing and spitting the breathlessness to no one with urgency, hoping for paper and pens thinking They'll be the death of me. Die on an empty mind rather than stomach, becomes someone said your thoughts in a book as your questions thumb it. Your confidence driving into grey storms as they're brewing, knowing your speechlessness was their doing. And they do it regardless, and they do it for fun, because speaking your mind is like holding antique guns by a safety catch with a broken finger. Blisters, barre chords, doorbells linger alone now. You don't go out most nights, and how can you expect to hold an image in this light? I don't want to see features, like most, only a reflection, because that means at least half of you is in my direction. Facing outwards, spacing forwards, you said you're sorry despite what that whore heard. Motion can only be described as in motion, and that's one of the saddest things I've thought about in my entire life.

It feels redundant to say that I'm creating since creativity as a whole was exhausted sometime in the early eighties by thinkers, not doers. Their plans embody a stillness that's been known by most to sneak up and fill us with a desperation to breaks someone mold. Like January sun beaming, deceptively cold. You'll run away then, and that's okay. You'll be back to your easel again in some form, some day. You can't hide from the artist inside you. You may repeat someone else's words, but that doesn't make them any less true.

I watched you run away from what you could make,
if your spider fingers would only create.

I see your feet reluctantly touching the concrete,
as you're running away.

It's written on your face.

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