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Lifelines
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I'm still weighing my worth against your words.

I'm falling in and out. I can't decide what's worse:

that I'm forgetting your face, a small piece every day,

or that I'm constantly worn thin by these memories.

I'm finding myself more and more at fault in each and every way.

I'm punishing myself the best I can. I'll let the pain become part of me.


Every moment is a lifetime, every memory a lifeline without you here.

As I slipped into your skin, I slid out of mine.

I've been trying to find reason to believe that you'll come home.


It's apparent that this wasn't perfect; maybe we were never meant.

But that doesn't make it easier to justify all the time and emotion spent.

I'm sick of waking up here without you;

I can't get your bitter taste out of my mouth.

You're digging down deep inside me;

I'm scratching at my skin to get you out.


I'll keep digging at this gravesite, night after night,

looking for what you buried here under your waning moon.

Maybe I'll find my body where you left it, and with time I could collect it.

But for now I'll stay here, trying to find a way

back

to

you.


Is this what I deserve? Take back every angry word.

Bled out night after night, with no reprieve in sight.

Tonight, I'll lie awake and shake with rage.

I need escape but I can't break loose.

Can't justify the pain. I'm burning memories of you.


Clocks turning backward. With no sense of bearing, I can't move forward.



I don't feel human anymore.


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