I have heard dandelions
Roaring out in my backyard
A direct approach is dangerous
Until you're sure they've dropped their guard
You'd be better off to wait
Until the brutes go for the bait
And when they can't anticipate
Is when you pounce and break their necks
Sure, some call me insane
But danger is my middle name
I have spied tiger spiders
On the prowl along my fence
But the speed at which they travel
Makes a chase much too intense
So you set your traps with care
Scattering them here and there
Hoping for a leg to snare
(And with eight, the odds are in your favor)
Watch out, they can maim
Even with a leg left lame
Sure, some call me insane
But danger is my middle name
There is one great adversary
That consumes my thoughts foremost
You see, a dragonfly breathes fire
So it's not safe to get too close
But it's hard to be aware
Of them appearing from nowhere
As they swoop down through the air
I might just need a rocket launcher
Not even scalding flame
Could make me shake my aim
Sure, some call me insane
But danger is my middle name
Last Of The Big Game Hunters
Barstool Prophets
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