You’ve probably seen me hanging aroundnI’m a very familiar face in this town.nA day doesn’t go by that I don’t meetna lot of my friends walking down the street.nI’m never too busy to stop by the waynand I’ve always got something pleasant to say.nMaybe some perceptive thoughts about the weathernor the latest news from Wall Street, whatever.nI could stand around all day making small talkngushing platitudes, blocking the sidewalkntying people up for hours with ease,nmy one big talent is shooting the breeze.nWhen they start to squirm, I really get goingnbut only my happy-face smile is showing.nWhy can’t they see what I’m trying to hide,nI’m bustin’ a gut, laughing on the inside.nIt’s in their smile when I say hellonI can see they think I’m a little bit slow.nBut after a while with me, they look dazedntheir eyes covered with a donut glaze.nI really start to cook when I see that looknI hit ‘em with every cliché in the book.nTheir knees wobble and they start to weavenit’s like they’re begging for permission to leave,nthey think they are having a brush with stupiditynI don’t laugh, even though it’s killing me.nWatching them wilt like day-old flowersnTicking off the minutes as they turn to hours.nThey are wondering how much more they can takenI give ‘em a friendly smile and a handshake.nWe say goodbye very politelynNow say hello to the killer inside mennNow say hello to the killer inside me.nEverybody has their doubts about my sanitynBut nothing happens ‘cause they all feel sorry for menI’ve got the whole town under my thumbnand all I’ve gotta do is keep acting dumb.n“Oh that boy Lou” they say “what a guy,na little on the slow side but wouldn’t hurt a fly”n“and such a gentleman!” “Oh yes I know.nhe sure can talk your ear off though!”nI tip my hat and pretend I don’t hearngrinning like a half-wit from ear to earnI can think of a thousand ways to say hellonso I start through ‘em all, and go real slow.nThey listen hard, and act like they care.nHow can they be so completely unawarenof the truth the answer is always denied menSo I introduce them to the killer inside me.