Just A Few Things That I Ain't
Beautiful South

When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
I'm only hopeless after nine at night
And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
If I didn't you'd get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Where's the land of hope but not quite

I've been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag
But never been bono or sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been bad man sad man certified mad
But never 007 or saint
Trendsetter go getter international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain't

The time you told class I was a half wit
Was my very first 50 %
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen copied or lent
And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
A waste of time and effort to teach
Why d'you give us sums if our only hope was bums
On someone else's deckchair and beach

I've been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
But never been a legend to god
New thing dumb thing even last year's thing
Headbang? - not even a nod!
I've been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
We've never caused a lady to faint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I ain't

When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
I spent most of it trying to breathe in
Always ill at ease, too willing to please
An inferior life's bargain bin
When you come from a background of bargain bins
You're bound to fear it ends where it begins
So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
And too phoney to celebrate wins

I've been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someones binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
I've been badman, sadman, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I ain't


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Lyrics by Beautiful South

  'Till You Can't Tuck It In   10,000 Feet   101% Man   36d   A Little Piece Of Advice   A Little Time   A Long Day In The Field   A Minute's Silence   A Piece Of Sky   A Thousand Lies   A Way With The Blues   Alone   Angels And Devils   Artifical Flowers   Artificial Flowers   Baby Please Go   Bed Of Nails   Bell Bottomed Tear   Bell-Bottomed Tear   Big Beautiful South   Big Coin   Blackbird On The Wire   Blitzkreig Bop   But 'Til Then   Chicken Wings   Ciao   Closer Than Most   Danielle Steele (The Enemy Within)   Diamonds   Domino Man   Don't Fear The Reaper   Don't Marry Her   Don't Stop Moving   Dream A Little Dream   Dumb   Especially For You   Everybody's Talkin'   Final Spark   Fleet St. B.C.   Foundations   Frank And Delores   Free For All   From Now On   From Under The Covers   Get Here   Girlfriend   God Bless The Child   Good As Gold   Good As Gold (stupid As Mud)   Half Of Him   Half-Hearted Get   Half-Hearted Get (Is Second Best)   Have Fun   Have You Ever Been Away   Here It Is Again   Hidden Jukebox   His Time Ran Out   Hit Parade   Hold Me Close   Hold On To What ?   Holligans Don't Fall In Love   Hooligans Don't Fall In Love   Hot On The Heels Of Heartbreak   How Long's A Tear Take To Dry?   I Love You   I Love You (but You're Boring)   I May Be Ugly   I Sold My Heart To The Junkman   I Started A Joke   I Think The Answer's Yes   I'll Sail This Ship Alone   I'm Your No 1 Fan   I'm Your No. 1 Fan   I've Come For My Award   If   If We Crawl   In Other Words I Hate You   Just Checkin'   Last Waltz   Les Yeux Ouverts   Let Go With The Flow   Let Love Speak Up Itself   Liar's Bar   Life Vs. The Lifeless   Lips   Little Blue   Living Thing   Loneliness   Look What I Found In My Beer   Losing Things   Love Adjourned   Love Is   Love Wars   Loving Arms   Manchester   Masculine Eclipse   Meanwhile   Mini-correct   Mirror   Missing Her Now   Mona Lisa   Mother's Pride   Mr. Obsession   My Book   Nearer To God   Never Lost A Chicken To A Fox   Oh Blackpool   Old Red Eyes Is Back   One God   One Last Love Song   One Man's Rubbish   Perfect 10   Pocket   Pockets   Pollard   Poppy   Pretenders To The Throne   Prettiest Eyes   Pretty   Property Quiz   Rebel Prince   Right Man For The Job   Rotterdam   Sailing Solo   Should've Kept My Eyes Shut   Size   Something That You Said   Song For Whoever   Space   Speak To Me   Spit It All Out   Stone In Love With You   Straight In At 37   Suck Harder   Tattoo   Tears   The Cat Loves The Mouse   The Final Spark   The Gates   The Lure Of The Sea   The Mediterranean   The Next Verse   The Opening Of A New Book   The River   The Rocking Chair   The Root Of All Evil   The Rose Of My Cologne   The Slide   The Sound Of North America   The Table   There Is Song   They Used To Wear Black   This Old Skin   This Will Be Our Year   Throw His Song Away   Til I Can't Take It Anymore   Tonight I Fancy Myself   Trevor You're Bizarre   Tupperware Queen   Valentine   Virgin   We Are Each Other   We'll Deal With You Later   What You See Is What You Get   When I'm 84   When Romance Is Dead   White Teeth   Who's Gonna Tell   Why Can't I   Window Shopping For Blinds   Without Her   Woman In The Wall   Worthless Lie   You And Your Big Ideas   You Can Call Me Leisure   You Just Can't Smile It Away   You Keep It All In   You Play Glockenspiel, I'll Play Drums   You'll Play Glockenspiel,I'll Play Drums   You're Only Jealous   You're The One That I Want   Your Father And I

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