EVIL CHERYL
Why don't you just accept your fate and join us Ashly? Join us!
Don't you wanna join the crew? You'll be dead and evil too.
The coolest thing to do is join us.
Your life sucks you know, working S-Mart's gotta blow.
Don't be just a fucking shmo! And join us!
You'll be dead with no remorse and be hung like a horse.
You can even bang a corpse if you join us!
Imagine all the fun if to evil you succumb, so just lay down that big gun...
And join our dark army of evil Candarian demons...
As we conquer this land and take over each and every soul of the living
ASH
Ah! Ah! No, I'm not going to join you, never!
EVIL CHERYL
What's the problem Ash? You don't want to look beautiful, like me?
ASH
Please! I'd rather look like his moose. Ah!
MOOSE
Why thank you!
ASH
Ah! The dead moose!
MOOSE
Actually, I'm an Candarian demon moose. And I'm here to tell you all about the fun and excitement you'll experience if you take us up on our offer and join us!
Can't you see we'll have a scream? Evil's funner than it seems!
You'll play on our softball team if you join us!
DEADITES
Join us!
MOOSE
We'll all have a ball, organize a big pop call and spend Sundays at the mall if you join us!
DEADITES
Join us!
EVIL CHERYL
You can speak our evil slang even grow some evil fangs.
You'll score some evil tang if you join us!
MOOSE
Being evil is divine, you'll be dead but so refined! Party like its '99...
If you join our evil forces as we enslave all mankind,
chew on their tiny brains and bathe in their hot bubbling blood.
ASH
Ah! Ah! All of you, shut up! Especially you, Moose! Shut up!
EVIL CHERYL AND MOOSE:
You can try and take a stand, but we have got your hand!
ASH
What are you talking about?
EVIL CHERYL AND MOOSE
Its not quite what we've planned, but now we've got your hand!
ASH
Why do you keep saying that?
EVIL CHERYL AND MOOSE
We've got your hand!
Yes it's true, we've got your hand!
Yes, we finally got your hand to join us!
ASH
Whats that? You got my hand to join you? Oh yeah? No you don't! Why do you keep saying that you got my hand to join ya, huh? Why do you keep saying that? AHH!
EVIL CHERYL
We've got your hand! We've got your hand!
ASH
Oh you bastards! You dirty bastards! Give me back my hand! Give me back my hand!
(chainsaw noises)
Who's laughing now, hey? Who's laughing now! (screaming)