Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor.
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store.
It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine.
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there.
So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl.
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there.
Ikea: plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: meatballs, tasty
Ikea: Allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me
I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks.
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you.
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true.
In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade.
Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there.
Ikea
Jonathon Coulton
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Lyrics by Jonathon Coulton
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