I'll Never Tell
Buffy

Xander

Well, I can do an omelet, I've almost got that...


Anya

This is the man that I plan to entangle

Isn't he fine?

My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle

Vengeance was mine!


But I'm out of the biz

The name I made, I'll trade for his

The only trouble is - -

I'll never tell.


Xander

She is the one

She's such wonderful fun

Such passion and grace

Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -

Embrace! Tight embrace!


I'll never let her go

The love we've known can only grow

There's just one thing that - -

No. I'll never tell.


Anya, xander

Cause there's nothing to tell.


Anya

He snores


Xander

She wheezes


Anya

Say housework and he freezes


Xander

She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe


Anya

I talk; he breezes


Xander

She doesn't know what please is.


Anya

His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!


Anya, xander

The vibe gets kind of scary


Xander

Like, she thinks I'm ordinary


Anya

Like, it's all just temporary


Xander

Like, her toes are kind of hairy


Anya, xander

But it's all very well

Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!


Anya

When things get rough, he

Just hides behind his Buffy!

Now look, he's getting huffy

Cause he knows that I know.


Xander

She clings

She's needy

She's also really greedy

She nev - -


Anya

His eyes are beady!


Xander

This is my verse, hello?

She - -


Anya

Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy!


Anya and xander

You know


Xander

You're quite the charmer


Anya

My knight in armor


Xander

You're the cutest of the Scoobies

With your lips as red as rubies

And your firm, yet supple - -

Tight embrace!


Anya

He's swell


Xander

She's sweller


Anya

He'll always be my feller


Xander

That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified


Anya

I've read this tale

There's wedding, than betrayal

I know will come the day I'll want to run and hide


Anya, xander

I lied

I said it's easy

I've tried

But there's these fears I can't quell


Xander

Is she looking for a pot of gold


Anya

Will I look good when I've gotten old?


Xander

Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?


Anya

When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?


Xander

Am I crazy?


Anya

Am I dreamin'?


Xander

Am I marrying a demon?


Anya, xander

We can really raise the beam on making marriage a hell!


So, thank God, I'll never tell!

I swear, that I'll never tell


Xander

My lips are sealed


Anya

I take the fifth


Xander

Nothing to see

Move it along


Anya, xander

I'll never

Tell!


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