I Want Candy Dead
Geoffrey Paris

Will somebody answer the fucking phone? Good Lord.nnHello?nHey Justin.nMy name isn't Justin.nHey. It's Aaron.nThat's great.nI can't come out tonight.nWhat?nI'm going to see this girl.nBut I thought we were gonna have an orgy.nNo. No. Her name is Candy.nI don't care what her name is.nShe's real cute. I gotta go. See ya.nWhat? Oh, hell no.nnI know a girl who's tough but sweet. (More like sour.)nShe's so fine she can't be beat.n(I'll fucking beat her.)nShe's got everything that Indesire. n(Yeah, well she's missingna few inches.)nSet the summer sun on fire.n (I'll light her on fire.)nnI want Candy.n(Ew.)nI want Candy.n(I didn't know you liked the taco.)nI want Candy. n(Are you sure it's not Randy?)nI want Candy. n(I'll kill that bitch.)nnGo to see her when the sun goesndown.n (You always told me you werengoing to the bathroom.)nAin't no finer girl in town. n(‘Cause she's a slut.)nYou're my girl, what the doctornordered. n(I didn't know you couldnhave a skank as a prescription.)nSo sweet she makes my mouth water.n(‘Cause my cock was in your mouthnlast night.)nnI want Candy. n(Yeah, candy penis.)nI want Candy. n(You're gonna smell like fish.)nI want Candy.n (Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.)nI want Candy.n (She's just a loose-pussied ho.)nnHey. (What?)nHey. (What?!)nHey. (Why do you keep saying hey?)nHey. (Stop it.)nHey. (What is this hey?)nHey. (Stop it.)nHey. (I will kill you. Shut up.)nHey.nnCandy on the beach, there's nothingnbetter. n(Oh, gag me with a spoon.)nBut I like Candy when it's wrappednin a sweater.n (Well, isn't that kinky?)nSomeday soon I'll make you mine. (You're ancockeye, I don't want you.)nThen I'll have Candy all the time.n(You'll have the smell of fish allnthe time.)nnI want Candy.n (It's not even Halloween.)nI want Candy. n(She's not even a real girl.)nI want Candy.n (Great. Let's go tonWalMart and get some.)nI want Candy. n(Oh, God, we get the point.)nnCandy in the morning time. (Ew.)nCandy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)nCandy, baby, can't you see? (No.)nAll I want is your Candy! (Gross.)nCandy in the morning time. (Ew.)nCandy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)nCandy, baby, can't you see? (No.)nAll I want is your Candy!nnHey. (Oh, not again.)nHey. (Shut up.)nHey.nAll I want is your Candy!nHey. (Shut up.)nHey. (I will kill you. I will kill you...)nHey. (...with my eyeliner.)nHey. All I want is your Candy!nI'll kill that bitch, too

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Lyrics by Geoffrey Paris

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