Help Wanted
Shane Koyczan and the Short Story Long

Everyday, Grandma would come into my room
And I'd hear her say, Rise and shine.
The world is a window that holds a sign
There's help wanted somewhere, young man.
So I rose and I shone.
I put on my shoes and I was gone.

See Grandma bought me my first phone.
She said, Don't bother calling the people who care,
Call the people don't.
Don't bother calling the people who've taken up a fight,
Call the people who won't.

And I learn at a very young age
Where my Grandma's rage came from.
The entire congregation would nod,
Never ask Grandma about God.

I'd argue with her everyday
All she'd say is, Go down to the store
Buy some light bulbs,
And when you run out, buy some more.
Because the light at the end of your tunnel needs to be maintained.
You can't let it be stained by their beliefs are better than your beliefs.
And you can't agree to disagree, because they're fucking wrong!

It's not the strong who've gotten lazy,
It's just that your vision is a little hazy.
You're not sure what it is you want,
But what you've got is all you need.
It Falls to greed.

For every hypocritical church goer
Who won't walk past the beggars
'Cause they can't spare a dime.
Grandma said, Fuck them,
I don't talk to God 'cause I ain't got the time.

And yeah, it struck me as strange.
Every time I walked past a brother
Who stopped to ask me,
Hey can you spare some change?
Because, yes I can.
But you see, I don't carry change around in my back pocket.
I don't wear it around my neck on a chain in some locket.

I keep change on the tip of my tongue,
so I can climb the rung of a ladder to a better place.
I forgot about saving face, Grandma told me, Save your Grace!

I keep change in the tip of my pen.
And it seeps out every now and then,
In spurts of angry ink that make me think,
Maybe the writing on the wall could use a little revision.

Grandma told me, Stop trying to calculate the difference between people;
People don't need division.
Gotta stick it together.
Gotta love each other.

Father, brother, sister, mother, uncles, cousins, aunts,
Forget about the chance, the cheers, the jokes, and the jeers.
After 2000 years, you'd think we'd know by now.
Grandma said, We will only find equality in the number of tears.

And she was right,
Because I don't know what injustices you've suffered,
Based size, sex, race, religion,
Or the political pigeon shit on the shoulders of
Us versus them.

Like in Bethlehem,
When a man said, Hey I could be wrong,
But can't we all just get along?
No! So we nailed him to a tree, see?

See, justice isn't justice,
It just is.
And I can't change it,
You can't change it.
So we've just got to try and rearrange it.

And I could offer you this miracle.
A chance to see,
A chance to see what I see.
To see the way that people see me.
Because if seeing is believing,
And you see what I see,
We wouldn't want to see anymore?

But I've got a little surprise in store:
For every man who looks upon me with judgment in his eyes,
The women who looks upon me with wetness in her thighs.
I'm the world's greatest overweight lover.

And you might just laugh.
And you might just scoff.
My bones are made from sticks and stones
And names just piss me off.

Grandma told me, Young man,
You can't be concerned with what ever it is they've got,
the only reason they think they're beautiful
Is the same reason they think you're not.
And, young man, you have beauty beyond measure.
You are a treasure entrenched in this earth,
You can't let strangers determine your worth.
Rise and shine!

So I rose and I shone.
I put on my shoes and I was gone.

See, Grandma bought me my first phone.
She said, Young man, from time to time,
I too need to smile,
Would you do me a favour and keep me on speed dial?
Yes, Grandma, I will.

And still, to this day, I can call her up
And hear her say, It's a game!
You play, you win.
You play, you lose.
You play!

Rise and shine!
The world is a window that holds a sign,
There is help wanted out there, somewhere.
But young man, if you are playing to win,
The first thing you have to do,
Is apply within.


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Lyrics by Shane Koyczan and the Short Story Long

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