Growltiger's Last Stand
CATS

In the fantasy sequence Growltiger's Last Stand, Gus relives

one such triumph, playing the pirate Growltiger. In this sequence,

Growltiger, a feared feline sea captain and his amour, Griddlebone,

meet an untimely end after battling a crew of Siamese sailors.

CHORUS:

Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge

In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large

From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims

Rejoicing in his title of the Terror of the Thames

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please

His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees

One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why

And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame

At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name

They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose

When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose!

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage

Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage

Woe the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships

And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed

To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed

The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear

Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play

The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay

All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide

And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

In the forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone

Concentrating his attention on the lady Griddlebone

And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks

As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone

And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone

Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise

But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled 'round

And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound

The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives

And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

Oh, how well I remember the old Bull and Bush

Where we used to go down of a Sattaday night,

Where, when anything happened, it came with a rush,

For the boss, Mr. Clark, he was very polite;

A very nice house, from basement to garret

A very nice house. Ah, but it was the parrot,

The parrot, the parrot named Billy M'Caw,

That brought all those folk to the bar.

Ah! He was the life of the bar.

Of a Sattaday night, we was all feeling bright,

And Lily LaRose, the barmaid that was,

She'd say Billy! Billy M'Caw! Come give us,

Come give us a dance on the bar.

And Billy would dance on the bar, and Billy would dance on the bar.

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear,

And emotion would make us all order more beer.

Lily, she was a girl what had brains in her head;

She wouldn't have nothick, no not that much said.

If it came to an argument, or a dispute,

She'd settle it offhand with the toe of her boot

Or as likely as not put her fist through your eye.

But when we was happy and just a bit dry,

Or when we was thirsty, and just a bit sad,

She would rap on the bar with that corkscrew she had

And say Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your pastoral flute!

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute,

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute.

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear,

And emotion would make us all order more beer.

Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!

Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar,

And Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar.

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear,

And emotion would make us all order more beer.

Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!

Ah! He was the life of the bar.

CHORUS:

Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes

Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard

Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, and junks

They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered

I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared

She probably escaped with ease I'm sure she was not drowned

But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround

The ruthless foe pressed forward in stubborn rank on rank

Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank

He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop

At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land

At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand

Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock

And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!

GUS:

These modern productions are all very well

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell

That moment of mystery when I made history

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