Well here's a little story about a woman that I knew.nIt's no allegory, I guarantee it's all quite true.nSo I expect you to believe me, though you won't believe your ears.nPay attention: listen up, though you may tremble with fear.nnYou see this woman that I spoke of had a quarrel with her lover.nIt seems she had discovered he'd been sleeping with anothernand it was on this very spot in June of 1987nfought and then he shot her and she died and went to heaven.nnOr at least that's what the priest said as he read the funeral rightsnbut something strange was going on amongst the tombstones that night.nJust when everybody thought her immortal soul was savednwe were quite concerned to see that she had risen from the gravennShe said, aloha, i'm back, I've got some business to do.nI'll be back in my casket before the night is through,nbut first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cellnto see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell.nnWe were speechless as she left us to find the fiend she'd marriednuntil someone said, She's looking good for a girl that's just been married.nBut you know we ought to stop her. Should we call up the police?nI said, She's the living dead. They can do as they please.nnBesides, she was heading straight for the station house herself,nwhere her husband was awaiting trial in a holding cell.nThe sergeant was surprised to see a corpse walk through the door,nbut he said, Sorry ma'am, visiting hours are 2:00 to 4:00.nnShe laughed and said, I'm dead and I don't have all day,nso if you'd kindly stand aside and show me the way...nAnd the Sergeant said, Okay then, he's in cell number six.nBesides, he thought, I really don't get paid enough for this.nnHe was sleeping on his cot when she came into the cellnand ever since the murder he had not slept very well.nWhen he opened up his eyes at first he thought it was a dream,nbut she began to speak before he had a chance to scream.nnAloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.nI'll be back in my casket before the night is through.nBut first I'll make you pay for your cheating and your liesnso honey...prepare to die.nnSome say it was a heart attack, some say it was a stroke,nand some will say the whole thing was invented just as a jokenbut I tell you it's a fact, it all happened right here.nWhen he saw his undead wife he simply died of fear.nnAloha, I'm back, I've got some business to do.nI'll be back in my casket before the night is through.nBut first I'll pay a visit to a certain prison cellnand see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell.
Grave Situation Pt. 1
The Burning Hell
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