Yo, yo!Mic check(My dick!)Testing, one, twoFf-fuck(My dick!) My nutsMy attitude is worse than N-W-A's wasI'll battle you over stupid shit and dis peopleWho ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)You see me standin' outside of your buildin' screamin'Puffy is good, (hey!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (wait!)I look at my life in a new light, fuck itGive me two mics; I write songs for me, fuck what you likeYou're probably hear me rap half-heartedCause I don't like rap anywayI'm just tryin to get my porno career startedEvery place and event, Been there, done thatShit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he wentCome on, let's go!Want a deal?Study these 5 chaptersLesson one,Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappersLesson twoFace 'em and dis 'em (what up dog?)Don't give em a demo, kidnap em (I want you to come with me)And make em come to your basement and listen(you're gonna fuckin' check this out)Lesson three,Get a job at a label, switch demos with CanibusAnd put yours on the owner's table (here listen!)Lesson fourKnow you heard this beforeHey let me get your number, I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!Don't act like a fan, you want to get signed?Get the Withest A and R you can findPull him aside and rap as wack as you canLesson Five: Get a hook-up at JiveDress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform liveAnd that's the key, but when you see me on the street, I ain'tGivin' you shit bitch, don't even bother askin' me (get away from me)Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin''Cause I'm always shittin' when I'm rappin' like Master PGot a blow job from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouthMy balls broke both of her collarbones (Ow!)Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah (It's all about me..)Gave Alyssa Milano syphilis, mono and gonorrhea (You're a dick!)And all three of my main girls said see-ya'Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin' Aaliyah(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin' a bathGrab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laughWhite trash, fuckin' your wife in the ass (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!)While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grassSo if I hurt your self-esteemAnd you get dissed too bad (Yo why you diss me?)You know I just be sayin' that to get you madAnd when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had (A big dick!)You know I just be sayin' that to get you madI can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad!You know I just be sayin' that to get you madHe'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! (Nurse! Nurse!)You know I just be sayin' that to get you madWhat a wonderful day, I should go outside and playAin't no need to sit inside the house and hibernateHi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenadeIn your driveway (what?) and drive awayAre you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDSBlood drippin' from it, rippin' your stomach like a paper macheYou talk a lot of shit, but you was never ill thoughI'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillowTipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laughJumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in halfWagin' wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with 'Agent Orange'And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!)The demon is here, steamin' this yearI rip (Mystikal's) voice box out, scream in his earIt's not a gimmick bitch, it's an image I live itGive a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give itYeah I don't think this guy is well I'm high as hellI'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tailI'll fuckin', I'll fuckin'Lay your nuts on the dresserJust your nut-sack by itselfAnd bang them shits with a spiked batCut your neck off and sew your head right backAnd leave you like thatYou just triggered the prick who just mixed liquorWho's itchin' to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topherReeves, I was teething with strep throatWhile your mother was breastfeedingAnd gave her the flesh-eating diseaseI'm iller than takin' a hammer and beatin' your kneesAnd walkin' through South Central L.A., bleedin' in jeans(Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin' up the next day in breathin' machinesFlashin' back to being shot and repeatin' the scenesOn how you just got smoked, and if you do liveYou'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and 'Pac jokeSo if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too badYou know I just be sayin' that to get you madAnd when I rap about a fat bitch that you wished you hadYou know I just be sayin' that to get you madI can't listen to that song, that shit's too sadYou know I just be sayin' that to get you madHe'll never make it, his wrist is slit too badYou know I just be sayin' that to get you madI know that makes you real mad, don't it? (uh-huh)That's right, Slim Shady (yup) Sway & TechSprayin' wreck (bitch)And we don't give a heck (uh-uh)Or a damn, or a fuck, or a shitSo suck my motherfuckin' dick
Lyrics by Sway & King Tech
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