Funk Dagger
Johnny Stranger

Here's a little story about a fella from Tasmaniancalled Funk Dagger.nI'm sure you know the type.nHe's the kind of cat you'd find in a bar on a Wednesday night.nDrunk by seven o'clock.nBartender has already pulled his tab.nWe all have a little Funk Dagger in our lives.nSo lets celebrate together.nYeah.nnFunk Daggernloves things that go bump nin the night.nnYeah, he's more than just a ladies mannHe's more than just your average hairy-chested tycoon.nHe's every man's mannand when he walks into the room, all the heads turn on cuenand quite a few stomachs.nnFunk Daggernloves things with a rumpnto pinch.nnYeah, he's more than just a little drunk.nHe's known for his powdery infamy.nHe throws on that Van Halen on that retro jukeboxnand then dances till he obtains ecstasy.nnPeople are always wondering,nWhere did he get that name, 'Funk Dagger'?nPerhaps out of an unhealthy obsession with cutlery.nOr maybe he just liked to funknand go for a ride on that rainbow-colored centipede.nnFunk Dagger, oh funk in the night!nnYeah, he's more than just a Superhero.nHe has no fear of Kryptonite.nHe'll expel all the villains with a thrust of his hipsnand his bulbous belly will jiggle while he twists.nnFunk Dagger, oh funk in the night!nnSo the moral of the story kids is: Don't do drugs.nOr at least any of those tasty illegal ones.nThe kind that'll make you stutter and stagger.nThe kind that'll turn you into Funk Dagger. n n n n

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Lyrics by Johnny Stranger

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