my paradise is gone, and you have thirty seconds to wake upnfrom a nightmare with a flooding rushnof memories like this one,ncaressing your inventive sideni find pride is my enemy most of the timenobsessed with finding answers, guided by voicesnthe choices i've made have been cancerousnsuppose this were you, tell me how would you livenenergy all spent, with nothing left to givenexcept a rib and your blessing to be freendoesn't sound much like a fair trade to menobviously it was finding the better of both worldsnno matter how much it hurts, and we both deserventhe company we keep to let us get good sleepni'm not weak right now, but it's not worth it to eat nit was never part of the plan to end up like thisnand i'm not trying to die for the things i can't admitnnthis morning i woke up, the ceiling was spinningnmy eyes couldn't adjust, the sun was beginningnto pry open the shades and burn through cotton skiesni reached over to hold you but you were cold as nightnthe room was hot, but your body felt differentni tried to wake you up, but your head never liftedni was whispering into your ear please don't leavenshe was sleeping in gods arms where i couldn't reachnher face was against my chest, the silence was singingnthe song of innocence, feeling like children againnthe moment was stuck, i couldn't breatheni screamed for someone to help us up here...pleasennobody was there, just me and my lovenwrapped up in the blankets that meant so muchntouching her skin against mine the life slipped awayngod stole my heart, but left my body here to staynnWent to sleep early, You have to be at school by 8nGot out my flashlight to write and not keep her awake,nI stay up too late, always tired in the morning,nShe’s kisses me goodbye while I'm half asleep yawning,nIt’s not that I’m lazy; I’ve got things to do,nNot trying to say my art is more important that you,nMy epiphanies are killing me, but I’m keeping it quiet,nI love to see see angels painting on the inside of her eyelids,nLocked at the legs, if I move she’ll wake up,nSo I stay in this position till my whole body's numb,nWhen the room is still, I write to the rhythm of her pulse,nbut it's always perfect speed so my thoughts are never rushednSometimes you roll over and try to mumble goodnight,nI laugh because your hair is always sticking up to the right,nBrush it away from your face because your smile is on,nWhisper goodnight my love and turn my flashlight off. n