Dear Penthouse
Rodney Carrington

Dear Penthouse: I'm a freshman at a small Midwestern university
And I never thought something like this could happen to me
When my teacher with the dynamite a**, asked me to stay after class
And she started to undress
I can't forget the statement she made
If you drop you pants I'll raise your grade

(Girl) Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were true until
I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl named Jill
We had a little too much to drink
I couldn't believe what I was starting to think
So we headed to her tent, there's nothing like eating out
Though the next morning my mouth still smelled like trout

Chorus
I've read every issue since 1974
The first two years behind the bathroom door
I poured through every Penthouse I could find
Even though my mom said I'd go blind
Dear Penthouse: I'm a seaman first class at an overseas naval base
It's been seven long months since I've seen a woman's face
When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue
And I locked the barracks door
Thanks to you I've gotten a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship
Chorus
Dear Penthouse: Doing sports on the radio has always been my job
I've never wanted a man until I noticed bob
When we're close I start to perspire
His little buns set my loins on fire
And I dream about the day he'll say, Chick lets get undressed
Name and address held upon request


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Lyrics by Rodney Carrington

  A Beer Is Better Than A Woman   A Dozen Roses   A Letter To My Penis   All About Sex   All The Reasons   Baby Back   Bad Pickup Lines   Best You'll Do Tonight   Bowling Trophy Wife   Burnin' Sensation   Burnin' Sensation   C'mon, Sing You Bastards - Burning Sensation   Camouflage And Christmas Lights   Carlos   Carlos, Man Of Love   Chicken Song   Dancing With A Man   Dancing With A Man (Long Version)   Dear Penis   Deer Hunting - Snake Hunting   Don't Look Now   Don't Look Now   Dozen Roses   Drink More Beer   Fred   Funny Man   Gay Factory Worker   Going to Heaven Drunk   Grandpa   Great To Be A Man   Hypochondriac   I Hope You Die   If I'm The Only One   If I'm The Only One [bonus video]   In Her Day   It's Too Late   It's Too Late (Radio Edit Version)   It's Too Late   Just One Beer   Kiss   letter to my penis   Little Things   Masterbate   Masturbation   Men And Women   Momma's Got Her Boobs Out   More Of A Man   Morning Wood   My Angel Friend   Older Women   Pickup Truck   Play Your Cards Wrong   Prison Bitch   Put Your Clothes Back On   Rap Star   Rhymes With Truck   She'd Be A Millionaire   She'd Be A Millionaire   Shoot The Interrogator, Rodney!   Show Them To Me   Sing You Bastards \/ Burning Sensation   Sing You Bastards/Burning Sensation   Snowman   That Awful Day   That's Just My Luck   That's Just My Luck   The Beer Song   The Chicken Song   The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend   The Man Song   The Pubic Hair Song   The Snowman   Things We Didn't Know   Things We Didn't Know   Tips On Marriage   Titties & Beer   Titties And Beer   Titties And Beer 2   Wish She Would Have Left Quicker   Yard Sale - Underwear Song

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