Hey Justinn-Oh hey WhompynYou're looking a bit sweaty today, what's the dilly?n-I just got back from quidditch practice, it was totally intensenYou look like you could use a showern-Funny you should say that, Whompy, I'm just about to head up to the prefects' bathroom to take a bath. I hear it has the best water pressure in this jointnOh man...n-What?nWell, you're a hufflepuff, you've heard about what happened to Cedric Diggory every time he took a bath in the prefects' bathroom, right?n-Well, yeah, he unlocked the secret of a magical egg and communicated with mermaids.nWell, yeah, there's that, but there's also moaning myrtle.n-Oh that girl? She's cool. I've played shows with her, she's super nice.nYeah but, put her in a bath full of naked men and she goes a little crazy.n-I'm sure I can handle it.nSeriously, just make sure you keep your guys in check if you know what i'm saying.n-I don't follow.nJustin, I'll put it bluntly. Cover your junk.nnMoaning Myrtle's got a little issuenmight be a ghost but she really wants to kiss yountouch you squeeze you make you feel toastyngotta admit she's a hot little ghostienwavy brown hair and sweet eyes to matchnit's more than enough to make my eggs hatchnbut she sweetens the deal with a schoolgirl's skirtncaptivating smile and a tendency to flirtnbut there's one major problem that I didn't forseenwhen I'm washing my trunk she's always looking at menshe wants to take a peek underneath my leaves and seenmy main branch if you know what I meanntry to cover up with a handful of bubblesnbut the girl is a ghost and she's looking for troublencan't whomp her away cause my branches swing through herncan't deny that I kinda wanna do hernnif you're takin a bathnyou better cover your junknwhen you're swimmin in the lake you've gotta cover your junknwhen you're brushin your teeth you better cover your junkncause you don't want Myrtle lookin at your junknwhen you're takin a bathnyou better cover your junknwhen you're swimmin in the lake you've gotta cover your junknwhen you're brushin your teeth you better cover your junkncause you don't want Myrtle lookin at your junknnDraco Malfoy droppin this bombnwhen I take a bath I put on my thongnwhen my junk sees Myrtle it hides like a turtlenducking in it's shell like it's [dunno]nnshe loves hufflepuffs and gryffindors too slytherins and ravenclaws anyone will donnI didn't realize that my tree hose connected to the system of pipes where human waste is rejectednfrom the toilets of the noble hogwarts schoolnand if they left it at that, I would probably be coolnbut the catch is thisnI've got a little friend who likes to get up in my treehole every now and thennher name's Moaning Myrtle and she's feelin kinda randynher ghost like features give her the upperhand-ynone minute I be chillin in my birthday suitncause trees be naked, what's it matter to you?nthe next I've got Myrtle feelin up my roots and I'm likenshe's a ghost I don't know what to donI look around to make sure no one's lookinnand no one's around so my branches start cookinnI say Myrtle, how about we take it nice and easy?nI'm a real nice guy but you make me feel sleazy.nnif you're takin a bathnyou better cover your junknwhen you're swimmin in the lake you've gotta cover your junknwhen you're brushin your teeth you better cover your junkncause you don't want Myrtle lookin at your junknwhen you're takin a bathnyou better cover your junknwhen you're swimmin in the lake you've gotta cover your junknwhen you're brushin your teeth you better cover your junkncause you don't want Myrtle lookin at your junknnhey Justin Finch-Fletchley, fancy seeing you here in the prefect's bathroom!n-AW SHI-
Lyrics by The Whomping Willows
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