We're low on cash this ChristmasnThere's no presents under the treenSanta, he got a job for menGonna extort a celebritynnMom warmed up the carnShe told me therapy won't be that hardnTimes are tough, you know the family needs itnSo black or white hold on tight while you beat itnn(Chorus)nI'm going to Christmas in NeverlandnI'm gonna sword fight day and nightnWith Peter PannCome home a little bit abusednAnd slightly confusednWe'll get rich just stick to the plannIn Never NeverlandnnMom rolled upnShe threw me out the car doornShe said she'd say a prayer for menIn the doorway stood a devilish mannWho had some Jesus Juice for mennI asked if I could see his monkeynHe threw me on the bed and tried to hump menHe even watched me while I took a wiznI think I'm kind of into thisnn(Chorus)nnMom showed up with an ice packnShe asked me to describe my attacknI said there is no blood on menWe cuddled by the Christmas treenSo she enrolled me in a self-help classnWith a candy cane still in my assnI said hello my name is StevonI had sex with Captain EOnThey asked me to elaboratenBut squirmed when I said masturbatenWith eyes wide open, faces rednI told them how I gave him....nnHeading to court that daynI cried cause I was sadnNever would I get to go backnTo Never NeverlandnnChristmas in Neverland