Cell Phone
Dumbfoundead

Woke up so dizzy

Drunk and hungover

Can't find my house keys

Who was the chauffeur

Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue,

where my cell phone is

What was the name, I was definitely on one

Ronda, Miranda, or Sandra?

Shouldn't have mixed that light with the dark rum

Now I'm in the bathroom, throwing up a lung

Gotta make a run for that Gatorade punch

Head pounding on the one like an 808 drum

Gotta grab Pho, hangover 101

It soaks it all up, you should know that bruh

Pocket full of numbers covered in weed crumbs

I'm a lover not a fighter, why my knuckles feel numb?

No pun intended but I really feel dumb--founded

On my neighbors front lawn throwing up

Seems last night I was acting like a fool

Tagged Facebook pictures of me jumping in a pool

Wearing nothing but a hat and my birthday suit

I was smashed to the max on a work day too

But I looked overjoyed in my polaroid pics

With my mustache fresh looking like a koi fish

My swag turned up on that soulja boy shit

Feeling real good about my bad choices

Who in the world is the girl in my bed

Who's the dude on the couch with dreads

And why in the hell was I drinking so much

Shoulda stuck with the weed like Breezy told us

Now I'm looking for the Folgers, awake from a coma

Making my way through empty bottles of Corona

Follow the aroma, it leads to the doja

Roll up, smoke up, and do it all over

Woke up so dizzy

Drunk and hungover

Can't find my house keys

Who was the chauffeur

Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue,

where my cell phone is

Friday night, just got paid

Brand new fit, clean boy shave

Feeling good, pregame, my place

The homies came through with a gang of fade

They said they're trying to get loose in a major way

So they sip grey goose no juice just straight

(What it do young buck, pour a cup) I'm straight

I'm waiting on the tree, I got fifty on the Z

Plus, I ain't even ate

Ya'll go heavy in the paint, I'll go heavy on the dank

You go heavy on the drink, and gon' end up on your face

Not me, not me

But I, don't think I'mma get my weed

Some time soon I'mma have to proceed

To consume the first thing I see

A little OJ and another Belvadee

Two shots for her, two shots for me

The more that we booze, the less that we see

Now that is more booze than Apollo The-atre,

up like I'm big on the tree, later

Outside pissing on the street, haters

Cops came through on the creep, gave me

A ticket and a mufuckin' speech

And meanwhile I'mma pee

Shots, shots, shots, shots

I'm thinking stop, it's not that deep, damn

Trying to give it all I got, got

And then I threw up in the god damn sink, that's weak

Woke up so dizzy

Drunk and hungover

Can't find my house keys

Who was the chauffeur

Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue,

where my cell phone is

There's an unfamiliar ceiling in this place

With a very familiar feeling of disgrace

As my eyes open up for the first time after

Another blackout, castrophe, disaster

And captures the image of the rafters above

And the cold concrete on my back is enough

To wake me and make me stand up in amazement

Where is this unfinished basement

How'd I get here, I need to get home

But I can't leave until I find my key and my phone

Then I see a girl asleep and alone in the corner

I walk toward her not knowing for sure who she was

I just hoped that her phone was on

And I ain't spoken to my girl, I told her I would call her

Tapped on her cold shoulder, when she rolled over, I saw her, damn

My memory is better than I think

I remember last night, had her bent over the sink

In the bathroom, staring at her lower back tattoo

Flashback boom and I'm back to the new

Back to the what now, what am I gonna do

Picked up her phone and dialed my own number to

See if I could hear it ringing, and sure enough

It's on the floor of the bathroom with more of my stuff

Condom, keys and my wallet

An absent-minded strategic alcoholic

Strategic cause the condom wrapper was empty

Tip-toed out the door kinda gently

Woke up so dizzy

Drunk and hungover

Can't find my house keys

Who was the chauffeur

Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue,

where my cell phone is

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