How you doin', Bert? Well, not so good, Charlie,nMy back's gone out and I cut my finger kinda gnarly.nThe job's the same, and so is the boss.nHe's still a big ass, and my wallet got lost.nMy wife's sick in bed, she says she'll never get well.nAnd all these kids today have gone to hell.nAnd all that government paperwork caught up with me––nHad to hire a beancounter for an outrageous fee.nAnd I don't know if the chicken or the egg is to blamenBut all things considered, I guess I can't complain.nnCheer up, Charlie said, things could be worse.nWell, yeah, I know, but did I tell ya thatnMy landlord's a cop? And my neighbor's insane?nBut all things considered, I guess I can't complain.nnOut on the waternWhere the sailing men all gonThe water's high,nWhile all the fish swim lownOut on the waternWhere the sailing men all gonThe water's high,nWhile all the fish swim lownnYou know what, Bert? Charlie said, You got the wrong attitude.nSometimes life's a big game, and the paths, you can choose.nThings may go wrong, but you've gotta stand tall.nWell, I know, Bert said, But well, that ain't all.nMy hair's fallin' out. The roof leaks when it rains.nBut all things considered, I guess I can't complain.nnOut on the waternWhere the sailing men all gonThe water's high,nWhile all the fish swim lownOut on the waternWhere the sailing men all gonThe water's high,nWhile all the fish swim lownnYou know what, Bert? Charlie said, You're a real loser.nSo I'll see you next week––if you live till then.nAs Bert walked out to the sidewalk, ten floors upnTwo men lost control of a hoist at just the right timenAnd a big Steinway grand flattened Bert like a dime.nAnd as a crowd gathered 'round and asked, what was his name?nAnd could it be the chicken, or the egg to blame?nWell, the only thing heard was that all things considered, he really couldn't complain.nnSo if you're a loser in life, and your gun's outta ammo,nJust remember the story of Bert and the piano.n'Cause if you can't string the bow––and you're clean outta rosinnSomeone may have planned for a music lesson.nKeep your eyes to the sky; it could be a brand namenAnd remember, all things considered, you really can't complain.
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