When Calvin was a boy,nthere was a lot to comprehendnA high imagination,nbut he never had a friendnHis father bought the funeral parlornjust around the bend from the MacysnHe helped around the basement,nand he swore to never tellnHe couldn’t stand the bodies,nbut he grew to like the smellnFormaldehyde and suicidenare words that came too wellnto a young boy (oh boy!)nEvery night he spentntelescoping in his roomnWatching naughty Audrey,nsmoking on the roofnHe fell for her from a far,nand someday he’d tell her…nLady luck, try your hand on menFill her dreams with thenquiet boy across the streetnWho came undonenCertain things I’ve seen too young, but…nnI’m sure she’s seen her share ofnblood, guts, and daddy don’t carenwaiting is so hard to bare…nI’d really like to meet younBut they teach you not to mixnwith those (unknowns)nI’d like to get to know younLike to show you all the thingsnthey don’t (and they won’t)nI’d simply like to tell younThat you’re swell,nand I could take you home (uh-oh!)nI’ll be waiting…nJust the other week,nit was a dream come truenAudrey came a-knockin’,nsaid she didn’t know what to donShe asked him for a favor,nhe said “anything for you,nAudrey Macy”…
Calvin the Coroner
PT Walkley
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Lyrics by PT Walkley
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