It’s Dads birthday
Mom is making his cake
Gonna clean his guns before he gets home
“Happy birthday Daddy all cleaned by me!”
I take a rifle out
And wipe it down
Ed points the gun
And pulls the trigger
It goes off and shoots his Mom,
In the back
Now she’s dead
What have you done Ed?!
Your Dad is home
He finds your Mom
Lying in a pool of blood
He smacks your face
And grabs the gun
You better fucking run!
He drags her body
In the other room
Pour a glass of Jack
And drinks away
Your wife is dead
Killed by your kid
Accident or not
He’s got to pay!
(Some day!)
Year later
Ed and his friends
Are figuring our what to do
Fall break is here
They have no clue
Then Ed’s Dad calls with the news
Out to the beach
To Dad’s house
To close it up
For the winter
The door is open
Liquor bottles empty
But Daddies waiting close by!
Ed shows them the trophy room
The battle axe is missing
Dad’s in the garage passed out
He has the axe in his hands
He’s dreaming of killing his son
In various ways
He wants revenge for
His wife’s death!
That piece of shits
Gotta pay!
Mike and Linda
Go to the garage
Daddy sees them
Then they walk on the beach
And find a pool
They go skinny dipping
Linda’s floating on her back
When Ed’s Dad attacks
From underneath her
He takes her body from
The pool
And takes their clothes
Then Mike goes looking for her
Leaving a trail of clothes
For Mike to find
They lead to the garage
He thinks she’s in the closet
Open the door
Here comes Dad
Copping up Mike’s guts
With a boat motor!
He screams and shouts
While blood flies everywhere
Hang him in the closet
On a spike!
The rest of them,
Are on the beach
A cop comes by to
See what they’re doing
He says they could
Be struck by lightning
And then he’s on his
Merry way
The cop finds,
An abandoned car
He goes looking around
The house
But here comes Dad
Stabs him in the face
Then chops his
Head off with an axe
By sword!
By pick!
By axe
Bye bye! X2
(Leads: Maniac Neil)
Cops head on a spike
Hangs his torso up
Ralph checks on Mike
And Linda
And goes into the garage
Look in the closet
Daddy rushed out
Pitchfork through his neck
Stick it into the door
Hang that piece of shit high!
Daddy gets his gaffe
He’s gonna kill some
More fucks
They go looking for
The rest
They all split up to look
But Daddy’s waiting by the
House
He grabs Sue by
The neck
Throws her on
His work bench
Put that gaffe in her pussy
Rip that bitch open wide
Blood and guts spilling out
Chop off her head with
Your axe!
Ed and Pam
Are out still looking for
Everyone
They go into the garage
Pam touches Sue’s corpse
And her head falls off
Ed goes to the closet
And finds the hanging
Corpses his Dad left rotting
Pam throws a piece of metal
And hits him in the head
She stabs him with
A knife
In the car to get away
(Leads: Maniac Neil)
But Dads on the roof
Chopping with his axe
Grabs Ed by the throat
Pam burns his hand with
A lighter
The car starts
Throwing Daddy
Off the top
He climbs on the back
They back up
Smash his body
(Leads: Maniac Neil)
Into the bricks
His guts fly out
Here comes a cop
Chop off his leg with an axe!
By Sword, By Pick, By Axe, Bye, Bye
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