LyricMeaning

Better Not Born
Rudimentary Peni

It seemed like a damn futile business to keep on living. No more tutors - high school next September which would probably be a devilish bore, since one couldn't be as free and easy as one had been during brief snatches at the neighbourly Slater Avenue school...Oh hell! Why not slough off consciousness altogether?...The whole life of man was a mere cosmic second -so I couldn't be missing much. The method was the only trouble. I didn't like messy exits, and dignified ones were hard to find. Really good poisons were hard to get -those in my chemical laboratory (I reestablished this institution in the basement of the new place) were crude and painful. Bullets were spattery and unreliable. Hanging was ignominious. Daggers were messy unless one could arrange to open a wrist in a bowl of warm water -and even that had its drawbacks despite good Roman precedent. Falls from a cliff were positively vulgar in view of the probable state of the remains. Well what tempted me most was the warm, shallow reed-grown Barrington River down the east shore of the bay. I used to go there on my bicycle and look speculatively at it. (That summer I was always on my bicycle wishing to be away from home as much as possible since my abode reminded me of the home I had lost). How easy it would be to wade among the bushes and lie face down in the warm water till oblivion came. There would be a certain gurgling or choking unpleasantness at first, but it would soon be over. Then, the long, peaceful night of non-existence... What I had enjoyed from the mythical start of eternity till the 20th of August 1890. More and more I looked at the river on drowsy sun-golden summer afternoons. I liked to think of the beauty of the sun and blue river and green shores and distant white steeple as enfolding me at the last -it would be as if the element of mystical cosmic beauty were dissolving me, and yet certain elements -notably scientific curiosity and a sense of world drama- held me back. Much in the universe baffled me, yet I knew I could pry the answers out of books if I lived and studied longer. Things have learned to walk that ought to crawl.


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Lyrics by Rudimentary Peni

  1/4 Dead   A Charming Chant   Alice Crucifies The Paedophiles   American Anglophile In The World Turned Upside Dow...   Arkham Hearse   Army Of Jesus   Beyond The Tanarian Hills   Black President   Blasphemy Squad   Blind Dogs   Bloody Jellies   Bubble   Buzzing Voice   C12 H22 O11   Cosmetic Plague   Crazed Couplet   Crazy Chain   Dead Living   Defined By Age   Dissolution   Dream City   Drinking Song From   Drinking Song From \"The Tomb\"   Dutchmen   Echo   essence   Farce   Flesh Crucifix   Gentlemen Prefer Blood   Hadrianich Relique [Instrumental]   Happy Farm   Hearse   Him Hymn   Homage A Tod Browning   I'm A Dream   Il Papus Puss   Imps Of The Perverse   In Crematorium Flame   In Memoriam   Inside   Ireland Sun   Iron Lung   Jabbering/Raucous Squawk, Harsh Cackle/Sir Algoval...   Kappa Alpha Tau   Lost   Love Is Not   Lovecraft Baby   Lovecraftian Nomemclature   Macabre Heritage   Memento Mori   Mercy Of Slumber   Mice Race   Muse Sick (Sic)   Musick In Diabola   New Dark Age   New England Tombstone Inscriptions   Nightgaunts   Notes On My Illness   Nothing But A Nightmare   One And Alll   Only Death   Only Human   Periwig Power   Pig In A Blanket   Pills, Popes And Potions   Pogo Pope   Poppycock   Radio Schizo   Regicide Chaz III   Rotten To The Core   Sarcophagus   Shard   Slimy Member   Sonia   Subdued Violence   Suffer   Teenage Time Killer   The Bile Ball   The Cloud Song   The Curse   The Day The Universe Ceased   The Dead Loved   The Enlightened Dreamer   The Flame Of Insanity   The Horrors In The Museum   the internal censor   The Lovecrafts Were Quarreling   The Loved Dead   the ocean of misery   The Old Man Is Not So Terribly Misanthropic   The Only Child   The Psycho Squat   The Rain   Time Passing   Tower Of Strength   Trial By Separation   Vampire State Building   Vatican't City Hearse   Voice   We're Gonna Destroy Life The World Gets Higher And...   When You Are A Martian Church   X N.H.S.   Your Secret Life   Zenophobia   Zero Again

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